Sunshine in Tall Shoes*
Hey, here’s something we don’t have around here very often: A guest post! And it’s by a guy!
It’s from author Christopher Moore, whose awesome new graphic novel, The Griff, is in stores now! In case you didn’t know, I did a guest post for Chris a few weeks ago (click here to read it. It’s all true. Please note that the title of this post is also by Chris).
I love Christopher Moore, not just because he’s a good author, a gentleman, and the vampires he writes about don’t sparkle (NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH VAMPIRES WHO SPARKLE. It’s genetic, I know sparkling is not a choice), but because his books were once MEDICALLY PRESCRIBED by a physician, and as you know, I fully respect medical authority (such as Hank Med on USA Network, and of course, Dr. George Clooney).
Here’s Christopher Moore’s guest post. Pay attention–it could save your life:
The first time I ever saw Meg Cabot she was being chased across a banquet room at Book Expo America by Lemony Snicket, who was trying to steal her tiara.
(Note from Meg: At first I thought, “This is so funny, but sadly isn’t true,” and then I remembered it IS true, and one of the less bizarre things that have happened at Book Expo, which is why I forgot about it.)
My first thought was, “Boy, Meg Cabot can sure run fast in tall shoes.”
And my second thought was, “There’s no way that tiara is going to fit Lemony Snicket, so I hope she gets away.”
Meg got away.
And later, at another Book Expo America, I actually met Meg, who was sitting in a hotel restaurant with a bunch of sneaky-looking publishing people.
Suddenly, I had to go rescue a girl who got her prom dress caught in the escalator by cleverly telling the bartender to call someone who knows how to turn off the escalator before it ate the prom girl. So after that happened, I looked back at Meg, who was still sitting with the sneaky-looking publishing people and I thought, “Well, she seems nice, I hope she gets away.”
Then she asked me and my wife-like girlfriend if we wanted to join her for dinner, but I said, “No thanks, we have a thing to go to,” (because we did) “but may I suggest that you slip off your tall shoes.” The people she was sitting with looked like they were faster than Lemony Snicket and I thought she would need the extra speed.*
(*Note from Meg: What I especially love about this story is that some of the people I was sitting with that night included my mom and R.L. Stine–of “Goosebumps” fame–and of course Bob’s wife, Jane. I agree, however, that they were probably quite sneaky-looking, particularly Bob Stine, who was Thrillermaster at this year’s Thrillerfest in NYC. What could be sneakier?)
(There was another time when a doctor prescribed my books to Meg’s husband because he was too cheerful and needed to get more snark in his diet, which is my specialty, but I don’t remember the details of that because I had a cold at the time and had taken a lot of Nyquil.)
(Note from Meg: All of the above is also true. And note what I mentioned about such bizarre things happening at Book Expo that I forgot about all the other stuff, like Lemony Snicket trying to steal my tiara. Like Peter Yarrow playing a special solo round of Puff the Magic Dragon exclusively to Julie Andrews in the green room before breakfast at 7AM. Yes, this happened. I was there.)
Anyway, Meg got away, and as you know, went on to write several thousand awesome novels.
(Note from Meg: This is an exaggeration, at which Chris excels, being a writer.)
And now, vampire novels. And the most surprising thing about that is not that she’s telling those stories, because I think we all know that Meg can write some terrific, funny, and engaging characters, but because vampires are dark and she’s so sunny. Meg is kind of like a little bottle of sunshine (in tall shoes, of course). Really. Have you ever seen her when she wasn’t smiling? I think I’ve made my point.
(Note from Meg: By law, all photographs taken of me not smiling must be destroyed.)
In fact, if I were going to throw anyone in front of a charging vampire to slow him or her down, Meg would be my first choice. Not because she would be a tasty vampire snack (which she definitely would; I don’t think I’m betraying her privacy to tell you that she smells like freshly-baked cookies, even from across the room) but because she could repel them with her sunny and charming nature. And let’s face it: she escaped from Lemony Snicket and the sneaky publishing people, so she could probably get away, even if she couldn’t vaporize them with her winning smile.
(Note from Meg: See above re: exaggeration.)
You go, Sunshine. Go.
(Note from Meg: I asked Chris to describe his newest book and what you’ll like about it, and this is what he said🙂
The Griff is about dragons from outer space that destroy the world, so Meg’s readers will love it because it has a snarky girl game-designer and a snarky girl killer-whale trainer and dragons from outer space that destroy the world. In color! So there you go.
I really liked ending this blog with something about Meg. So let me say this: I’m pretty sure that in the face of an attack by dragons from outer space, Meg Cabot would remain cheerful and upbeat, because that is her nature. (Although even Meg would probably change into more comfortable shoes, as is recommended when facing an alien invasion.)
Note from Meg: Aw! Now I’m blushing! Here’s a little something about Christopher Moore:
He’s the author of twelve amazing previous novels: Practical Demonkeeping, Coyote Blue, Bloodsucking Fiends, Island of the Sequined Love Nun, The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, Lamb, Fluke, The Stupidest Angel, A Dirty Job, You Suck, Fool, and Bite Me. He lives in San Francisco, California.
Follow Chris on Twitter!
Like him on Facebook!
And meet him on tour later this month! You know you want to (I know I do)!
Click here for more info on THE GRIFF.
Thanks for visiting, Chris!
And thanks to everyone who came out to see me during my AMAZING tour for Abandon and Overbite! You’re all AWESOME and made me feel so at home, even though I was such a long way away from home! I’ll be posting new photos from the tour as soon as I can get them off my camera–it died. So frustrating! If you have any photos, PLEASE post them to my Facebook page! You rule . . . and we have copies of Overbite to give away just as soon as I get fully unpacked (and Henrietta brushed) next week! So visit often. You never know if you might WIN! (Yes, even you overseas readers.)
Love and thanks to you all! Don’t forget to grab a copy of THE GRIFF! As always, I will be reading mine the old-fashioned way, in dead tree format, as I will most likely accidentally drop it in some body of water since it’s summer time, either the pool, ocean, or bath tub. Oooh, I should probably get two copies, just in case.