Fight The Suckage
I’m going to make a general statement that some of you might not agree with, but I don’t care. Lately, things seem to suck.
Maybe they’re going great for you and if that’s true, fantastic. But if you’re like a lot of people I know, it’s the opposite.
We live in sucky times. So it’s important not to let the suckage win! How? Well, look at Camille Grammer on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills:
If you’ve been watching this show, you know that on the first episode, this fine lady can be seen kissing her husband Kelsey Grammer goodbye as he leaves to go on a yearlong business trip (I guess if you’re an actor, sometimes you have to go away . . . for a year).
Those of us who follow the tabloids (like me) know that Kelsey won’t be back. By the time this episode aired, Kelsey had already impregnated his girlfriend, Camille had (rightfully) filed for divorce, and the girlfriend had suffered a miscarriage.
But Camille still kept a brave face, trying rise above the suckage with the art of dance.
All of us need to remember Camille Grammer’s bravery in the face of such suckage . . . how she danced instead of crumbled!
And we must try to do the same.
Combat the suckage! Here are some of my hints on how (besides not marrying Kelsey Grammer in the first place, obviously):
Okay, most of us can’t dance like Camille Grammer.
I’m going to yoga though. In this way, the suckage is defeated, at least for a while. I just hope no one ever films me doing it.
Arts and Crafts:
Crafting is an excellent way to fight the suck. I myself am not a crafter, but I’m the daughter of one. My mom was always crafting, and then selling her crafts at various bazaars, and making money to buy new supplies to make new crafts.
While I cannot craft, I did used to draw a lot. Most of my best drawings were inspired, like the one above, by real life*, like this one of my boyfriend at the time, begging my forgiveness:
I can’t believe that relationship didn’t work out.
(*Edited later to add: I did not draw Pretty Lady! I just WISH I had drawn Pretty Lady. I only drew Snake Boy, above. Sorry for the confusion. You can visit the Etsy store of the artist of Pretty Lady here. Unfortunately Pretty Lady sold before I had a chance to buy it. And yes, my drawing, Snake Boy, is for sale. It is $1,000,000.50.)
If you can’t craft, you can reduce the suckage in the world by writing a song and singing the suckage away, like Willow Smith’s Whip My Hair.
If you are a fan of Justin Bieber, perhaps you can explain to me why his haircut is exactly the same as Johnny’s from the original Karate Kid.
Is this on purpose? What is going on? Why is no one but me asking these hard-hitting questions? Is it some kind of conspiracy? Does Justin belong to the Cobra Kai dojo? Just answer the question, Bieber fans (and I am not saying I’m not one of you. I love the Bieber, too. I just want to know if he is being ironic in styling his hair like Johnny’s. What if it’s all an elaborate joke on us? Have you thought of this? HAVE YOU?). Sixty Minutes needs to get to the bottom of this.
Writing is a very good way to fight the suckage if you can’t craft, dance, sing, or do karate. Write funny things to make people laugh. Or moving things to make them so sad, they realize their own problems aren’t so terrible (Nicholas Sparks is very good at this).
And it’s NaNoWriMo! So right now you can join others who are trying to help fight the suckage with their writing, as well.
Yesterday on Twitter and Facebook I posted a link to this article. Are you a Jane from Jane Eyre, or a Cathy from Wuthering Heights? The article says you can’t be both!
And Twitter exploded!
I did go through a Cathy phase when I was about 13, but I gave it up when I got into writing books myself and realized the entire romantic conflict in Wuthering Heights is based on a misunderstanding. Heathcliff overhears Cathy say something terrible about him and leaves before she finishes her next sentence . . . that she loves him anyway.
In Jane Eyre, the conflict that keeps her apart from Mr. Rochester is REAL . . . AND CREEPILY HORRIBLE!
Forced to drop out of an esteemed East Coast college after the sudden death of her parents, Jane Moore takes a nanny job at Thornfield Park, the estate of Nico Rathburn, a world-famous rock star on the brink of a huge comeback. Practical and independent, Jane reluctantly becomes entranced by her magnetic and brooding employer and finds herself in the midst of a forbidden romance.
But there’s a mystery at Thornfield, and Jane’s much-envied relationship with Nico is soon tested by an agonizing secret from his past. Torn between her feelings for Nico and his fateful secret, Jane must decide: Does being true to herself mean giving up on true love?
An irresistible romance interwoven with a darkly engrossing mystery, this contemporary retelling of the beloved classic Jane Eyre promises to enchant a new generation of readers.
This book seems like a really cool twist on Jane Eyre, one of my favorite books of all time. You know I’m a sucker for modern re-tellings, since I did Insatiable, which features descendants of characters from Dracula, and of course Avalon High, which is a modern twist on the King Arthur myth!
So JANE seems like it’s going to be a lot of fun, and is getting great reviews from other Jane-ites (including booksellers)! So I hope you’ll join us on the site as we read and discuss JANE (and hopefully give a copy or two away as prizes)!
Click here to see a Rochester and Jane Rock Video!
Movies usually help keep away the suckage, but when I made He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog watch Avatar on HBO this weekend (since he missed it when it was in theaters) he turned to me and said, “Really?”
Although he did agree the scene where Jake Sully had to wrestle his Ikran into submission was very reminiscent of what I have to do with my cat Henrietta every morning in order to give her her thyroid pill. Which, I pointed out, is how I know that Henrietta is MY cat, just like Jake Sully knew that was HIS Ikran. Why won’t Henrietta let me ride her?
There are a few things that don’t suck on TV:
The Walking Dead (so far) on AMC.
The fact that Friday Night Lights has started up again on Direct TV (so good).
Kathy Griffin talking about Hoarders, which is even better than the show Hoarders.
Weeds (even though HWSNBNITB missed every single episode this season until this week and was able to catch up with no explanation whatsoever).
Avalon High. Oh, did you not hear about this show? It’s going to be premiering on Disney Channel this coming Friday night at 8PM ET. I haven’t actually seen it yet (no, they didn’t send me an advanced screening DVD, nor was I invited to the premiere), so you and I will find out AT THE SAME TIME if it’s any good (although it’s playing On Demand already in some communities).
But I think it’s going to be great, judging from these fabulous clips, and some advance word and sneak peeks I’ve seen! Go Avalon High!
I hope this public service message about the suckage and how to combat it has helped. Surely within it you have been able to find some small amount of non-suckiness.
I just want you to know that I’m aware of the suck, and I am working hard to try to find new ways to fight it. I will keep you posted on further developments, and any new progress, as soon as there’s news.