Fa La La La Lifetime
So I turned in Insatiable and have been incapable of doing anything since but watch TV.
I know I have a husband with a broken ankle who needs me.
I know Christmas is coming and there’s holiday decorating (and shopping) to do.
I know I have other deadlines.
But people: It’s Fa La La La Lifetime on the Lifetime Movie Channel.
Who runs Lifetime, anyway? It has to be the devil.
Because every time I turn around, there’s another fantastic Christmas tragedy (averted at the last minute by the holiday spirit…or a snow plow) to keep me from doing all the things I need to get done!
Jim and Suzanne struggle to stay alive when they’re lost on a mountain after a blizzard in the Lifetime Original Movie, Lost Holiday: The Jim and Suzanne Shemwell Story.
Oh, yeah, baby. That is my kind of Christmas movie.
Or like Holiday in Your Heart, written by and starring Leann Rimes:
Bernadette Peters plays a diabetic country music singer who’s trapped in a blizzard in a bus accident next to a blind old man who shares his insulin with her….
…until the morning, when she realizes he’s (SPOILER ALERT):
Stone cold dead.
And also, he’s her LONG LOST FATHER.
It could happen.
Or The Christmas Hope, in which Madeleine Stowe plays a social worker whose grief over the death of her teenage son is causing her marriage to airline pilot, James Remar, to fall apart.
So when she takes in a little girl whose mom has been run over, we pretty much assume the adorable kid is going to bring them back together.
(They always do.)
But then Ian Ziering (YES! Of 90210) AND a mysterious video BOTH show up with very special Christmas messages…
…from the dead!
(This actually didn’t turn out to be as dishy as I was hoping. No EMTs had to be called, although there was a drunk uncle who threatened to want custody of the kid, so that was exciting for about five minutes.)
But wait! It’s not all survival and sob stories. Some of our Fa La La La Lifetime heroines are getting:
Sigh. I wish I could get one of those for Christmas…
…just to do all my errands, of course! So I can keep on watching all these incredibly dishy movies.
A Christmas curse on you, Fa La La La Lifetime!
Goodbye for now. I have to go watch more Christmas survival stories.