Knowing and The Day the Earth Stood Still, plus The Best Cat Video Ever
I had a LOT of people write in with suggestions since I posted that I’d be writing about my search for the Best Movie of All Time.
I just want you to know that I’ve seen most of the movies you suggested and yes, you’re right: they’re all very good, and definitely BMOAT contenders.
But right now I have to write about the movies Knowing and The Day the Earth Stood Still.
The other night our friend Bob was visiting from NYC and we decided to watch a movie on pay-per-view. But we couldn’t agree what movie to watch.
Bob and I wanted to watch The Day the Earth Stood Still starring Mr. Keanu Reeves.
Scene from The Day The Earth Stood Still, in which Manhattan is threatened with being blown up. Manhattan blows up in three of the 5 movies I have seen lately. Why so much Manhattan hate, writers? Is it because all the editors live there?
But He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog wanted us all to go out to his men’s den (aka the pool house where Ryan from The OC is going to live someday when I am Kelly Rowan) and listen to The Grateful Dead.
Bob and I looked at each other and said, “Okay, how about if we watch Knowing starring Mr. Nicholas Cage?”
So HWSNOBNITB said OK.
This is the miracle of Nicolas Cage: Men who would rather be in their men’s den listening to The Grateful Dead will agree to watch him in anything. Even Ghost Rider!
Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck, a BMOAT. ‘Bring me the big knife!’
And that is why I love Nicolas Cage and hope he goes on making movies FOREVER.
But then last night when no one was home I watched The Day The Earth Stood Still by myself.
Here a few things you need to know for your future survival on this planet, according to Knowing and The Day the Earth Stood Still:
1. If aliens come down to Earth, it’s going to be all about the children. Either the children are going to save us all from destruction, or all of us except a few of the children are going to be killed.
Notice Manhattan blowing up in this poster. Editors, you are all now dead. Don’t look at me! I didn’t have anything to do with it!
2. It’s much more entertaining to watch the earth get destroyed than it is to watch it get saved! So if you have a choice, watch Knowing. WAY more special effects, and the story is much scarier. Plus, like I said, Nicolas Cage.
3. The earth never does stand still in The Day the Earth Stood Still so it’s sort of false advertising. It would SUPER COOL if it did. Like, probably tectonic plates would break off and splash into the ocean and buildings would fall down and stuff!
But this never occurs in TDTESS, so don’t get your hopes up like I did. If you want to see stuff like that, watch Knowing.
(Or wait for the movie 2012!)
4. Nakedness: You do sort of get to see Keanu Reeves naked but I don’t think it was really him. I smell a body double. Nicolas Cage takes a shower but you don’t see anything. There aren’t really any romances in either of these movies so don’t expect anything there, ladies.
Best Movie Of All Time Approval Matrix Score:
Day the Earth Stood Still:
One tiara for the beginning, which was good. Tiaras deducted for getting progressively less good
Basically, if I were going to spare the earth from destruction, it wouldn’t be because of the children. It would be because of this:
The above might actually be a BMOAT. I give it four tiaras!