As I’m writing this I’m watching the worst movie I’ve seen in a while (but nowhere near as bad as Benjamin Button), Clive Barker’s The Plague.
But I can’t turn it off because it stars James van der Beek, who is in two of my favorite teen movies of all time, Varsity Blues and Angus.
Did you know there’s an Angus Drinking Game? For real.
And check it out, there’s one for the Princess Diaries 2 The Movie, too!
I’ve never done drinking games, since I can’t hold my liquor, but they always look fun when other people play them.
In The Plague all the world’s children under age nine have been in a coma for ten years and now they’re waking up as zombie teenagers and killing everyone.
This should be excellent, and it kind of is. Except that James van der Beek isn’t a zombie, he’s trying to save everyone from the zombie teens.
The other problem with the movie is that the music is kind of dopey and the special effects aren’t that scary and everyone is always like, “Wait, we have to go back.”
Why does everyone always say that? There’s no reason to go back. Really. Ever. Just drive forward.
Actual dialogue from The Plague:
“Oh my God…that’s my daughter!”
“She’s not your daughter anymore!”
“No, we can save her!”
Then the kid chews her mom’s eyes out. Of course.
I have a new book out in Brazil. It’s got a girl with some extraordinarily saucy looking boobage going on on the cover. It took me a while to figure out which book it was, because I was like, “I haven’t written a book with a girl with super big boobs in it…at least, not in a while….”
But then finally it occurred to me: “Pegando Fogo” must mean Pants on Fire! Way to go, Brazil. I can’t wait to go there in September. I’m not only going to the book fair in Rio, but to Sao Paolo and several other cities as well for book signings.
And He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog is coming with me (although he’s wearing a bag over his head in case anyone tries to photograph him)! It’s going to be MAJOR.
I had some problems with my Facebook, in case you didn’t hear: I have too many “friends,” so I had to start a new page here. No one is going to tell me how many friends I’m allowed to have, not even Facebook!
And here’s an interview I did for Meet The Writers with Barnes and Noble.com!
Okay, The Plague just ended and I didn’t understand it at all. You should be able to understand the ending of a James van der Beek movie. You know?
Aaaand…just as I suspected: There’s a Clive Barker Hellraiser drinking game! Do not try this unless you’re over 21…or maybe even then. Or, you know, ever. Ew!