Well, I did it. I met the Scare-a-Thon Dare issued to me (and numerous other YA authors) by Lauren Myracle and conquered one of my biggest fears in time for Halloween. That’s right: I actually wore a fairy costume.
Not just in public, but to my neighborhood Halloween parade!
And then to a bar afterwards!
But first, an explanation: I will admit I had no intention of following through on this dare and waited around until the last minute to go shopping for my costume. So when I got to Walgreens they were sold out of fairy costumes.
Ordinarily I would have said, “Oh, well, I guess that’s that.”
But then I noticed all the people running around dressed as Amy Winehouse and Sarah Palin (uh, I live in Key West. People here are weird) and I thought—“Whatever, that looks like fun. I’ll just do it!”
So I bought the only remaining adult sized costumes Walgreens had left, SLUTTY TAVERN WENCH and EVEN SLUTTIER PIRATE LASS, then took them home, and by combining bits and pieces of each and some wings I borrowed from our friend Capt. Bob, plus one of my own tiaras, I put together the following fairy costume…or what I like to call my FAIRY PIRATE PRINCESS costume:
Yeah!!! I think this totally counts as a fairy costume because
b) tiara, and
c) skirt so short I had to wear really big granny panties underneath it just in case (they are flannel with flowers on them and it’s a good thing I wore them because when I sat down you could totally see right up my skirt and also because of something else that happened later).
So, armed with a really big cocktail, I actually walked down the street in this outfit and went to our local parade (Lauren didn’t say anything about our having to be sober during this dare).
Here I am bossily telling my neighbor to hurry up or we’ll be late for the parade.
Then I had a super fun time watching the parade in this outfit with He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog (he was dressed as a pirate and is holding the camera in this picture), my neighbor Capt. Bob aka the caveman, and a bunch of other fun people.
It wasn’t until afterwards when some of us went to a bar (still in costume) that things really got interesting. Because….
I GOT CARDED!!!! YES!!!! Out of all the people I was with, only I had to show ID!
And I had to get my hand stamped with a special stamp so I could prove I was 21 in order buy drinks, after which I was no longer the least bit interested in drinking. I just wanted to show everyone my special hand stamp! I will never wash it off!!!! NEVER!!!!
I will admit night had fallen by that time and it was a bit dark in the bar (it was an outdoor bar). Plus I was wearing fairy wings and a tiara.
But so what? I am 41, not 21! And I got carded!!!!! YAY!!!!!
I now totally love fairies now and completely believe in their magic. Fairies rule!
PS Thanks for all the fairy book suggestions!
PPS I forgot to mention, while I was in the bar, I got goosed! Yes! On my fairy bottom!
But it was okay, because the gooser didn’t feel anything, because I was wearing my great big flannel granny panties!
And guess what? The gooser was dressed as Peter Pan!!!!! That cheeky monkey!
So then I told He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog (who was dressed as a pirate) about it, hoping there would be a Peter Pan/pirate duel. But HWSNBNITB just laughed, especially when he heard about the granny panties, and when he saw that Peter Pan really was only about 21.
And when Peter Pan saw HWSNBNITB, with his eyepatch and wooden sword, he ran away.
But it was still VERY EXCITING!
I’m going to wear my fairy costume every time I go to a bar from now on! Just never without my granny panties.