So many things have happened while I’ve been on vacation and “offline” (which I still am, but I’ve snuck online for a quick update) I don’t even know where to start! How about with the obvious….
–The Olympics! I’m so mad I missed it (especially the swimming and gymnastics). But there’s no TV where I’m staying. Well, I found a small one but it only gets three channels.
Now I know how the kids on MTV’s Exiled! are going to feel. Minus the having to drink water straight from the dirt, etc. I even missed the new Hills premiere! I’m not complaining though, I don’t want to get sent to Exiled!
–The 2008 Seventeen Magazine Fiction Contest Winner was finally announced! Meet Kelley Langan (and the second and third place winners, as well)! They all did a fantastic job. You can read their stories at the link above, as well as enter the new 2009 Fiction Contest. This time we want ORIGINAL 500 words stories.
Do you have a question you want me to blog about exclusively on Seventeen.com? Submit it here!
Want to see what I was like when I was 17? Check it out. Fair warning: it wasn’t pretty.
–Tropical Storm Faye, in my town back in Florida, which I only found out about after the eye wall was practically already over Key West, because of said television only getting three channels, roared right over my house! How was I know? I only have dial-up here and it takes an hour to get an email!
Reports tell me that everything back home is fine, including both cats.
(My aunt who lives in Tampa sent me this!)
Wait though, it gets better:
–I had to use a port-o-let. Yes! I asked where the bathroom was at a restaurant in Maine and they pointed outside. To a port-o-let!
I wouldn’t have used it except that I really, really had to go. The whole time I felt like Tori Spelling (only not on Punk’d—instead I thought some creepy old man was standing under the port-o-let, filming peoples’ butts. This actually happens at RV camps in rural areas of Indiana! If you don’t believe me just look down next time you’re using a port-o-let in that area and see if you notice a red light blinking down there. If you do, RUN—but pull your pants up first).
I didn’t see a red light though, it turned out to be fine (is this too much information? But seriously, Hoosier girls know about the OLD MEN WITH CAMERAS, so we are extra cautious around port-o-lets, and we want all of you to know, too.)
The food was good though! And they provided antibacterial soap (thank GOD).
–I did have a brief freak out when I got to Maine because I got emails from readers reminding me about Pennywise the Evil Clown, creation of horror writer and Maine native Stephen King. Thanks, you guys. All I could think about was Pennywise. Everywhere I looked in the deep woods where we are staying by the seaside, all I could see was Pennywise!
I thought I was just being stupid until we went into a little town and there was a store with a big clown head hanging over the door, called The Clown!
But it wasn’t Pennywise. As you can tell because I’m still alive and my soul hasn’t been sucked out of me (that I know of).
Aside from all of that, Maine is lovely. My mom lives there for part of the year, with her boyfriend. They’re both painters. Here’s a painting my mom did of the view from their house:
I know, tough life, huh?
This is what they give us to eat all the time. Possibly they are secretly Pennywise and trying to kill us by clogging our arteries to death. Ha, ha, kidding!
Oh, and here’s one other thing that happened since I’ve been offline: An adorable review of The New Girl! So sweet!
As far as books I’ve been reading on vacation, I managed to grab copies of Cynthia Kaplan’s Why I’m Like This and Leave The Building Quickly and they’re gently helping me through my TV and Internet withdrawals.
But honestly when the zombie apocalypse come, I’ve decided I’m just going to let them eat me, because although getting away from the media has been lovely in it’s own way, I’ve decided life really isn’t worth living without being able to shop online. I really, really need shoes to wear on tour next month and they have to be shoes I can ride on a train in (while wheeling a giant suitcase), step off, walk a bit towing said suitcase, then appear elegantly at a book signing. What kind of shoes are THOSE? They can’t be Louboutains or anything ridiculous like that. They’ll just break or hurt me.
Seriously, I need help.
Anyway, can’t wait to get home. Big hug to all of you…and the Internet too!