Millionaire Matchmaker vs. Lady Executive
It’s a new month, and you know what that means….
A Meg Cabot novel!
Ha, I’m kidding. I’m not that quite prolific. This month Avon’s put out a trade paperback edition of an oldie but a goodie of mine, She Went All the Way —
This was actually my first ever contemporary romance! Now it’s got a brand new cover (yes, she does end up stranded in Alaska in inappropriate shoes). Here’s more about the book. Yes, there’s a yappy dog, but it’s not the heroine’s. Mmmmm, sparkly.
Speaking of sparkly, the Allie Finkle contest from last week is, sadly, over. Congrats to all the winners (if you didn’t get an email notifying you that you won, try here! And even more are contests coming to this blog soon)! Winners, your prize is in the mail.
And really, if you do nothing else all day, go here and watch the Face of Allie Finkle video, about how they selected the adorable little girl who plays Allie on the UK covers (available now). All the Allie finalists were so cute. I really don’t know how they chose.
So, exhausted from a long day of writing all the html links for this blog entry, I flipped on the TV and Millionaire Matchmaker came on. I got really excited because I was like, “At last! Porn for women!” (I mean porn in the yummy chocolate sense.) For some reason I thought it was a show about female millionaires who get matched up with hot guys, all vying for their attentions, a la Lipstick Jungle, which, I won’t lie to you, is my new favorite show—
Lipstick Jungle, starring Suddenly Susan, That Lady from 24, and Steve’s Girlfriend from 90210
Look, at least I’m not watching Cashmere Mafia. Lipstick Jungle is about HOT RICH WOMEN, in charge—Lady Business, as Tina Fey would say—trying hard not to spend all day having sex with HOT GUYS (unless of course they are their husbands…well, except for Andrew McCarthy, who looks a bit cadaverous. But he has his own fleet of jets–oh and he brings her food–so who cares?) which is what most of us Lady Business Executives do spend all day doing.
Oh, and the guy from Dresden Files who plays Brooke Shields’s husband? HE DOES THE LAUNDRY!!!! How is that not porn for women? And he has sex with Brooke Shields ON THE DRYER! (Our laundry room is too small for two people to fit into at the same time. And that, by the way, is why all my New Yorker friends watch this show. For the apartments. They call it Apartment Porn. The one played by Steve’s Girlfriend from 90210 has her own townhouse). I know it’s occasionally badly written and usually dumb, but the clothes…the cliches…the way a cab comes whenever they want one…I LOVE THIS SHOW.
(PS When HWSNBNITB walked in and saw me watching Lipstick Jungle, it was a scene where the guy from Dresden Files was shirtless—and HWSNBNITB said, “Is that guy CGI?”
But I think he can be forgiven because we had just watched 300 and he was a bit confused about what was reality and what was not. And the guy from Dresden Files does have a very large head and no body fat.)
This photo has nothing to do with anything. I just felt like we needed a photo of Prince Harry shirtless in Afghanistan. Thanks, D-Listed! And more power to you, Harry!
Anyway. Back to Millionaire Matchmaker. It turns out it is about MALE MILLIONAIRES ONLY. How is that fair? Are they saying there are no lady millionaires looking for love? I happen to know this is not true. WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR THE LADY MILLIONAIRES????
And the millionaires I saw weren’t even that funny or smart, and the women who were looking for mates seemed kind of insincere (they say they want love, but if that’s all they want, WHY ARE THEY ON A SHOW CALLED MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER? Why aren’t they on a show called, “Poor But Cute Single Dads?” They had to have signed a release, right? So they know what the show is called).
On the episode I watched, the “matchmaker” herded about thirty girls onto a yacht, then set three millionaires loose on them. The millionaires said things like, “I like the one in the white shorts.” Yeah. Classy! His mother must be so proud.
Those women should watch Lipstick Jungle (or, even better, get an MBA), learn how to be a Lady Business Executive, get a good job, then marry someone who loves her so much, he’s willing to stay home and do the laundry like the guy from Dresden Files while she works at the job she loves. That’s all I’m saying.
Fortunately I changed the channel to MTV just in time to see
Mariah Carey’s new video, which features a unicorn and Jack McBrayer from 30 Rock, and it cheered me right up. LOVE IT. And so will you.