Luck of the Irish
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I am especially qualified to wish this to you, being half Irish. Well, at least a quarter.
Erin go bragh!
This weekend was very hard on everyone. Clearly, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you must not own a TV, or if you do, you probably didn’t turn it on.
Obviously, I am speaking of sports. There is a lot of sports on in the US right now, specifically basketball, specifically college basketball. In addition to being one quarter Irish, I am also fully Hoosier, and so is He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog, and Indiana’s stunning loss at the buzzer in the Big Ten Championship Friday night left him feeling so hurt and confused.
I told him I knew exactly how he felt. It was like the time I tried to order these fantastic shoes in gold from Michael Kors
and they were temporarily out of my size (but they’re in stock now and I finally got them and they’re so comfy and only $98 as opposed to $600 for crazy Jimmy Choos or whatever and whenever I wear them someone goes, “Where did you get those shoes?” and I go “Here”)!
But HWSNBITB said it actually wasn’t like that at all and even went so far as to tell me gold shoes do not solve everything (???!!!!WHAT?????!!!!)
So then I said it was like the time on this blog when I said how much I liked the show Lipstick Jungle but then last week’s episode was so incredibly stupid. A JK Rowling prequel? Andrew McCarthy buying a fashion designer a closetful of clothes without asking her opinion on them first? Who is she, Belle?
I can’t imagine she’d really like that. Also, realistically, what are the chances he’d get it right, even with the assistant’s help? Once HWSNBNITB bought me a sweater set from Brooks Brothers. Sweater set! From Brooks Brothers! HA HA HA!
Where was I? Oh, and Suddenly Susan pulling out the mommy card? No. Just no.
I’m so sorry I ever said I liked this show. It is a travesty that Jericho (and, many readers would like me to point out, The Bionic Woman) is on the brink of cancellation, when Lipstick Jungle is still doing well in the ratings. Of course I will still watch it, but only for the clothes.
To which I would also like to add, what happened to House? That show used to be good. But when he squirted that little girl with milk from her adopted mom’s tumor on the alleged Christmas episode, I was done.
The Hoosiers losing at the buzzer in an extremely bizarre play that was a pretty good example of “the harder I work, the luckier I am” (i.e. that kid must have practiced that shot a million times, it wasn’t a lucky shot…thanks to Sarah Dessen for the term, btw) is just like Lipstick Jungle sucking now. Right?
Except HWSNBNITB says it is not, that it’s nothing like that at all.
So then I said maybe it’s like this Allie Finkle article in the Detroit Free Press, which is extremely cute, but in which I accidentally confess how I really feel about ketchup.
And he said, no, it isn’t like that at all and would I please go away.
So then I showed him this, which is guaranteed to cheer up even the saddest person:
Friendly dolphin! Saving whales!
Fortunately Slutty-McSlut-A-Lot chose that moment to get into a fight with Herbie, the cat from next door, and Slutty succeeded in chasing Herbie off our property. So HWSNBITB cheered up quite a bit after that with no help from me, praising Slutty and giving her treats and trying to wash her dirty, dirty face, much to her annoyance.
So everything is back to normal around here (Henrietta even threw up to celebrate).
Don’t you feel better now? No?
Okay, well, maybe this will make you feel better. Scholastic is giving away TWO HUNDRED advanced reader copies of my new book, AIRHEAD. Yes, you read that right—TWO HUNDRED.
What will you need to do in order to win? Stay tuned to this blog for details, coming as soon as I find out what they are.