Why Tim Riggins Didn’t Ask You Out
From Blue Monday (the third Monday in January is, apparently, the gloomiest day of the year) to the crazy ride on Wall Street, to the terrible news about Heath Ledger, this had been a sucky week.
I don’t know about you, but I could use a little “Sugar High” from Empire Records to cheer me up right about now (that’s Rene Zellweger singing in the black sweater on top of the music store, in case you don’t recognize her…wait for it):
Anyway, now that we’re in a little bit better mood….
I’m still on my blog-caytion because I’m not yet done with Princess Diaries 10. I’m also finishing up the secret project that will accompany Princess Diaries 10 when it’s published.
At the current page count, the whole thing is going to be OVER 700 pages (combined), but, of course, since they’re separate, more like 350 and 400, each. Could you die? I could. And my fingers are way tired.
Anyway, in a moment of, “Oh my God, my fingers are tired,” distraction, I was reading Sarah Dessen’s blog, and I saw that she was talking about Tim Riggins, and that reminded me that I made He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog watch Friday Night Lights the other night, and he seemed to like it, partly, I think because…it has football in it (shhh, don’t tell anyone, the football was just a small part)!
Why aren’t more people watching this show? It has Tim Freaking Riggins in it. If you don’t know who Tim Riggins is, just watch even a small part of this Tim Riggins Tribute video and it will explain it all. Tim Riggins is the guy with the long hair—in other words, he’s the boy in high school who always wanted to ask you out, but he never did because you were just too smart/cool/bookish for him, and he was a little bit afraid of you (see the movie Juno for reference to this very common phenomenon).
So the Tim Riggins in your school did the right thing and avoided you entirely, because he knew in the end he wasn’t good enough for you and he’d just drag you down as you streaked your meteoric path of success across the sky.
That’s what I tell myself, anyway, about why the Tim Riggins of my school never asked ME out, even though clearly I was the only person there sensitive enough to understand him.
Never Asked Me Out, But Totally Wanted To
But now I have the satisfaction of knowing that he burns with regret every single time he sees one of my books in Wal-Mart when he shops there with his wife and seven kids by three different marriages…or so I imagine. The seven kids by three different marriages part. I KNOW the burning with regret part is true. Because he so really did and continues to love me, just like all of the Tim Rigginses who went to YOUR schools burn with love for YOU.
But look, all those Tim Rigginses did the right thing by not admitting their feelings to us because it’s true, they’d have just dragged us down while we were in college getting straight As and they were still trying to get their act together. I mean, I’m not saying Tim from Friday Night Lights isn’t going to make it, I totally hope he’ll defeat the odds…that’s why I keep watching! I’m rooting for you, Tim!
Still Wishes He’d Asked Me Out…You Can See It Here In His Eyes
So, in conclusion, watch Friday Night Lights, so you too can enjoy Tim Riggins, the Boy Who Never Asked You Out But Totally Wanted To, But Couldn’t Because He Knew You Were Too Smart For Him, Because You So Were, So Maybe It Seemed Like He Was Just Asking Out All Those Dumb Slutty Girls* Instead.
But Believe Me, He Really Wanted You, And Still Does, Wherever He Is Now.
I know I should talk more about books in this blog, but whatever, I’m too dang tired to read anymore, I freaking write all day, all I can do is veg out at night in front of the TV, then read Allure Magazine in the bathtub. Don’t tell anyone!
*Added later: Okay, thinking this over, I realize the term “Dumb Slutty Girls” is pejorative, and I didn’t mean it that way. I meant girls who possibly didn’t understand him in the deep, meaningful way that we, of course, did. I should have said mean girls. Because the Tim Riggins I knew ended up being shockingly abused by mean girls. Not that he didn’t at least partly deserve it, of course.