I wasn’t going to tell you guys this, but you know I can’t keep a secret, and besides, secrets only lead to misunderstandings and gruesome murders, as we all know from reading too many madcap rom-coms and Anne Perry novels.
This book is in UK stores now! It’s the British version of Big Boned!
But that’s not the secret.
The secret is, after months of suffering from mysterious aches and pains (serious, doubled-over-at-five-in-the-morning, screaming, “Call an ambulance right now! Oh, wait…nevermind, it’s gone…” pains) which I mistook for an appendicitis and/or a kidney stone, I found out I have a ginormous ovarian cyst that I have to get removed.
It will be my first time ever in a hospital (that hasn’t been to visit someone else)! I’ll be doing this on Wednesday (yes, this Wednesday), and I’m extremely scared about it (although the kind RNs there calmed me down somewhat when I went today to fill out paperwork and I was all hyper about how nervous I was. They promised to give me super good drugs. Also they said to wear warm socks, which was really thoughtful of them).
Fortunately, awesome Marie in Naperville gave me these–hand-knitted!–socks a while back. Thanks again, Marie!
I know a lot of you have had this surgery. It’s very common. Every single woman alive has ovarian cysts. They just don’t know it because they usually don’t become ginormous and start demanding to be let out, like one of mine has.
So, anyway, I will be offline for the rest of the week as I deal with this. And if any of you reading this happen to have just a TINY amount of good thoughts/prayers/spiritual energy to spare for me on Wednesday morning, I would really, really appreciate it! I would do the same for you, I swear!
In the meantime, just like my doctor would never leave me without a nice ‘script for painkillers, I would never leave you without something to entertain you while I’m away: