I don’t know about other writers, but when I’m towards the end of writing a book, I am completely unfit for human companionship. Like, I pretty much stop bathing and I can’t speak in complex sentences anymore.
This is pathetic, but true. It’s a good thing I write books in short intense bursts. When I hear about authors who take a year or more to write their books, I’m like, Wow. That’s a long time to go without washing your hair.
For the welfare of others, I try to avoid human contact when I am at this stage of one of my books.
I can, however, watch movies, especially old movies I’ve already seen before, so I know how they turn out and I don’t bite off even more of my cuticles.
Which is why last night I watched Legend, starring Mr. Tom Cruise.
If you have never seen the movie Legend, you need to get your hands on a copy immediately. This is especially necessary if you have ever asked yourself, “I wonder if Mr. Tom Cruise is gay.”
Tom as Jack in the movie Legend
But you need to make sure you get the “Ultimate Edition” DVD which has both the director’s cut with the fancy orchestral score that wasn’t used for the US release and the original Tangerine Dream soundtrack that was used here in the US, because the version I saw last night had only the orchestral soundtrack which apparently a lot of movie buffs prefer.
I’m not saying they’re wrong. But let’s be honest. Those of us who were teens in the 80s agree: The Tangerine Dream version is way, way better.
Anyway, in case you have never seen Legend, it’s about some sort of nature boy (Tom Cruise) named Jack who has to save the world when Princess Lilly (played by the radiant Mia Sara, whom a friend of mine actually knew from high school and always said was super nice) unleashes all the powers of darkness by touching a unicorn after Jack urges her not to.
(DON’T TOUCH IT, LILLY!)
As a result of her actions, the princess and one of the unicorns gets kidnapped by the Lord of the Darkness (stunningly played by Tim Curry) who decides he’s going to make the princess his bride, and even provides her with a nice ink black wedding gown, with which she dances in one of the film’s most famous scenes.
Mia Sara passes out in her wedding gown after seeing her groom for the first time—a common reaction amongst new brides.
There’s something about Tim Curry in this movie that is just so…Like, I know he’s the devil and all, but…well, come on. Look at him:
I mean, they made a toy out of him. How awesome is that? You can order him here in time for Christmas and Hanukkah.
I’m just saying, if he’d have kidnapped me, I don’t think I’d have made as big a fuss as Mia Sara did. I wouldn’t have PASSED OUT, for crying out loud.
Oh, whatever, she missed Jack…
But was the Lord of Darkness really that bad? Maybe he had Seasonal Affective Disorder, from not getting enough light. Or maybe he was in the middle of writing a book, and didn’t know how to act. I get that way, too. Did he really deserve this?
And if you like fairies, there’s a pretty cool one in this movie who saves the day, Oona:
Here’s a clip of my favorite scene from the film:
Legend. Not to be confused with I Am Legend starring my boyfriend Mr. Will Smith, which opens next week and which I am totally going to see (so long as the dog doesn’t die).
The dog dies, doesn’t it? Oh, God, WHY????? NOT THE DOG!!!!!!!!