Dumbledore is Gay!!!!
I knew it. I don’t mean to brag or anything, but my gaydar is seriously fine-tuned thanks to all the guys I’ve dated over the years who turned out to be same-sex oriented (I’ve gotten much better now than I used to be. Now I just assume every guy I meet is gay until he produces evidence to the contrary, in the form of—well, you know.)
Season Jets tickets! I’m talking about season Jets tickets, people.
Oh, also because I have a gay brother (not Officer–who recently got promoted to Sergeant—Friendly, but my other brother).
Having a gay man in the family is very convenient because when you ask, “Does my butt look big in this?” he will totally reply, “Mmmm, girl, yes, like the mother earth,” instead of, “Uhhh…no?” like Sergeant Friendly always did, looking like he wanted to run away for fear he’d given the wrong answer and might get his leg hairs pulled.
Congratulations on the promotion, Sergeant Friendly! Thanks for keeping our streets clean of perps like those two! Get them to the big house right away!
Actually I didn’t know until the last book, though, and I didn’t expect JK to come right out and admit it, but to leave it up to readers to figure out. But I’m glad she did!
The only downside is that now everyone keeps asking ME the question that’s obviously on everyone’s minds: When am I going to admit that JP from The Princess Diaries is gay?
The answer is, never, because he is not. Just because a man likes musical theater does not mean he is gay (and just because a man has season Jets tickets doesn’t mean he’s a hetero. I was joking about that). JP may indeed be hiding something (maybe even more than one thing), but it isn’t that he’s gay, because he’s not.
Paulo, on the other hand, is gay, as is Sebastiano, in case anyone needed clarification on that.
In the continuing saga of my attempts to finish Princess Diaries 10, the editor who replaced my longtime Princess Diaries editor at HarperCollins, who quit to go to Scholastic, also quit to go to Scholastic. Did you get that? Yes. BOTH of them quit to go to Scholastic.
So now I have no editor for the last book of the Princess Diaries series.
I am sure I will GET an editor for the last book in the Princess Diaries series. But in the meantime, while I was very sad at first to see my replacement editor leave, you know what I am thinking? YEEHAW! I HAVE NO EDITOR! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT IN BOOK 10!!! PHILIPPE IS MARRYING LANA! MIA IS SKIPPING COLLEGE TO BE A SNOWBOARD INSTRUCTOR IN THE ALPS! IT’S PARTY TIME IN MEG CABOT LAND, PRINCESS DIARIES STYLE!
(Disclaimer: I am totally kidding. Neither of those things are going to happen. Probably.)
Of course, as soon as I am assigned an editor, I will delete the above, so enjoy it while it’s there.
Lastly, I feel we should all take a moment to think about those who are suffering from the wildfires in Southern California. Not just celebrities like Tori Spelling either…people like He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog’s brother, who is a golf instructor out there, and could lose everything he owns.
Speaking of which, don’t forget—only a day is left on the bidding for signed Big Boned and Princess Mia ARCs over at AAR. You can also bid on having a professional critique of your manuscript by an actual professional editor with a real publishing house who MIGHT EVEN BUY IT if she likes it.
Just click here! I would have killed for a chance like this back when I was unpubbed. Literally. Killed.
Hey…I don’t have an editor…maybe I should be bidding on this…! (Totally kidding, HarperCollins!!!!)