“All my bags are packed. I’m ready to go. I’m standin’ here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. ‘Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane. Don’t know when I’ll be back again. Oh, babe, I hate to go….”
(Sound familiar? Most readers are probably thinking of Chantal Kreviazuk from the “Armageddon” soundtrack. Unless you are thinking of John Denver, in which case, hi, Mom!)
Yes, Gem (aka Slutty-McSlut-A-Slut) won. We are leaving Indiana. I think it was when she shredded the antique lace curtains in the bathroom that we finally became aware of just how adamant she was about leaving. I have actually never seen a cat shred a curtain to get a point across. Gem’s grit should be a lesson to us all. Never give up on your dream because in the end—with enough needle-like accuracy—you really can succeed.
Hopefully she will go back to her slutty self when we get home, which is infinitely preferable, it turns out, to this new, demonic Gem.
(But we will be back in Indiana once our new cat fence gets installed. Check it out.)
A few readers pointed out that I have not had the best of luck with homes (search blog for: 9/11, ghost, hurricanes, etc). It really is true. But I will never sell my Indiana barnhouse, because since buying it, not a single hurricane has hit South Florida. Connection? Of course.
Besides, this house IS nice. Check out this cat’s eye view of my living room:
I would show you pictures of the outside but then if I ever get a stalker, he/she will know where to find me.
In other news, I’m probably the last person in the entire blogosphere to figure out that two of my favorite writers (and bloggers), Jennifer Weiner and Sarah Dessen, are both pregnant at the same time and both due in the Fall. How exciting! I love babies— when it isn’t my vagina they are coming out of, and not me they are wiping their boogers on. So yay for them!
And did you see this incredible story on photoshopped magazine covers on Gawker? Scroll down to the before and after pics of Faith Hill. And now you can stop believing a single thing you see in magazines.
And just in time for those of us who might be feeling a little depressed because our cat has been keeping us up all night, eating curtains, comedienne Maria Bamford has posted some new videos on her website here. Maria, I love you!
A few of you mentioned that you really liked the picture I posted last time of the dessert at the Ritz. Well, here’s the cheese trolley at the Ritz. After you finish eating the main course, they bring this out:
There are no cheese trolleys in Key West. I am just letting you know in case you ever go there.
But there are cats! Lots and lots of cats. When I tell people who aren’t from Key West that I am leaving Indiana because one of my cats is unhappy, they go—“Your CAT is sad?”
But people in Key West totally understand. No one
messes with Key Westers and their cats. Not even the US Government.
I am a Hoosier at heart with a Key West cattitude. See you in Key West!