TWO MORE DAYS!
Seriously, if one more person emailed me to say they had gotten their pre-ordered copy of Queen of Babble in the Big City, I think I was going to have an embolism. Because as of yesterday, I STILL hadn’t seen a finished copy! Of my own book! Which comes out in TWO DAYS!
But after a panicked email (in all capital letters) to my editor, I got Fed Exed a copy. And here it is:
(I made Slutty-McSlut-A-Lot pose with my new book this time instead of Henrietta because Slutty was feeling left out. OK, not really. As you can tell from her expression, she’s like, “Get the **** away from me.” Actually I had to get He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog to stand behind me and call her name just in order to get her to look up for the camera, that’s how much she hates me.)
Anyway, so now I have a copy, too, all you pre-orderers! HA!
It looks good. Except I just realized that in Queen of Babble Gets Hitched, which I’m writing now, Lizzie goes on a rant about people who chew gum loudly and how annoying they are. And here she is on the cover of Book 2, blowing a bubble.
Oh well. I’m not changing it. QOB3, I mean.
So I know I was complaining that there was nothing on TV but all of a sudden there’s a LOT on TV. Like The Closer. Did I ever tell you that one time I was at a book signing in Manhattan in this little girl was asking me a TON of questions about Fat Louie, and later she came up to me and mentioned that it was funny that Mia Thermopolis is always talking about Kevin Bacon, because Kevin Bacon was the little girl’s dad? No, really.
And that afterwards the little girl’s mom came up, too, and I was looking at her mom like, “Did I go to high school with her? Because she looks so familiar. But she is way prettier than anyone I knew in high school,” and it was Kyra Sedgewick?
Well, anyway. That happened. It was way mortifying, because I belatedly realized that in the next Princess Diaries book I had coming out, there was a whole list of all the movies you could see Kevin Bacon naked in. Full frontal.
And then I was like, What if Kevin Bacon’s daughter reads that???? And anyway, how likely is it that today’s teens even WANT to see Kevin Bacon naked? I mean, obviously I do because I am almost the same age as Kyra Sedgewick and I love Kevin Bacon, and also I worship Kyra and TiVo The Closer religiously.
But come on.
Anyway. Not that she will ever read this, but I hope Sosie Bacon knows I’m sorry about that. Although it is kind of funny, you have to admit.
In case I didn’t mention it, Kyra and The Closer rock and if you aren’t watching it, for the love of God, WHY NOT????
Some other good shows I am watching right now are Entourage (all new episodes!) and Kathy Griffin’s Life on the D List on Bravo (how sad was that episode last week where her dad died? I totally cried). I would also just like to say that I so know what it is like to be Kathy. Well, not the part with the mansion in Beverly Hills and the three person staff and speaking engagements on Rosie’s cruise ship and the hair and make up people and stuff.
But I know what it’s like to bomb during a speaking gig. Been there, done that, heard the crickets chirping in the background. Though I’ve never used the F word at 9 in the morning during a Sunday corporate gig in front of hundreds of people like that (or during a chili cook off)!
Another show I watch (though I’m sort of ashamed to admit it, being a feminist and all) is Big Love. I am addicted to this show. I LOVE IT. I don’t WANT to love a show about a polygamist. But you can understand how THESE people became polygamists, and still love them. I know that’s weird to say. But it’s true! Big Love is sort of genius.
But not as genius as Flight of the Conchords. This might be my new favorite show. I mean, it’s a MUSICAL. These guys are SO weird! They actually remind me a LOT of everyone I know in Bloomington, Indiana. Which of course is why I’ll be spending my summers there.
Speaking of genius, I hope all you younger siblings didn’t get your noses out of joint when they did that story on the news yesterday about how oldest children are statistically more intelligent than their younger siblings. That story was total B.S.. I mean, it’s true I got better grades than both my brothers, but as we all know, grades are not accurate measures of intelligence (note my Fs in Algebra), nor are IQ tests, and anyway, “success”, to me, does NOT have to do with what college you went to, how fancy the house you live in is, or how much money you make.
To me, a successful person is someone who knows how to live life to the fullest, has a few (but not necessarily loads of) great friends who love him or her, and who can make you laugh until you pee your pants (this is probably the most important quality, at least to me).
If he or she can whip up (or at least order) something really good to eat, that doesn’t hurt, either.
And that’s not something that can be measured by any IQ test.
Finally, I leave you this, which is what I WISH I could have submitted to the New York Times when they asked for my version of the ending of Harry Potter 7 (except that I didn’t create this. How I wish I had, for it rocks SO HARD. I know wands are way cooler than guns, but this IS pretty funny, especially if you’ve seen the movie HOT FUZZ).