Pants on Fire Tour Day 4 and 5
Back in NYC (in my own apartment, no less!):
Thanks to the wonderful world of the Internet, I already know what happened on The Office last night even though I was at a book signing (thank you to everyone who came to see me at Diane’s Books. You were all wonderful. Caroline, thank you for your note and the bracelet! And Julia, I hope you pinched Jacob for me)….
…and all I have to say about The Office series finale is AAAAAAAAHHHH!!! I can’t WAIT to get home and watch it myself with He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog, who is my Jim Halpert (yes, we met at a party when I was 16 and he was 22, but we got to know each other six years later when he got me a job as the receptionist in an office where he worked. Yes! I actually WAS Pam! I was even a frustrated illustrator! It’s uncanny).
So today I went to an engagement lunch thrown by authors Michele Jaffe, Maureen Johnson, Rachel Vail, and myself for our editor Abigail McAden. Abby, back when she was a 25 year old assistant editor at Harper Collins, was the only person in the entire New York publishing industry who didn’t reject The Princess Diaries (no, I am not lying, or even exaggerating. I still have the rejection letters to prove it).
Abby from a birthday lunch (which she would like to point out was 4 years ago but she’s very cagey about letting people take her picture, as this, the only other online photo of her in existence reveals).
Now she’s editorial director of Point at Scholastic (and the editor of Allie Finkle’s Rules for Girls, my first series for readers aged 8 and up, as well as my new teen paranormal trilogy, Abandon, and my new teen comidrama trilogy, Airhead).
AND she’s engaged. ENGAGED!!!! It brings a tear to my eye, that my little Backstreet Boy fan is growing up so fast. I mean, she’s getting married. And converting! And registering for flatware! Sigh. It’s so romantic.
Anyway, it was totally surreal being at lunch in SoHo with four such smart, sharp women—kind of like being in an episode of Sex and the City, only without the slutty chit-chat about you-know-whats. Everyone was telling hilarious stories and talking really fast—faster than me, even—and it was really hard to keep up. I kept going, “Wait…who’s Alexandra?” and “Wait…opossums have how many vaginas?” I think risotto went up my nose twice I was laughing so hard. I hope the other authors kept better notes than I did so you can read about it on their blogs.
In other news, I am starting a new section of this diary I am calling Is It Weird. As in:
Is it weird…that I totally want to see this? I mean…Transformers? When did they get to be so cool?
Is it weird…that now that Paris has accepted her new, reduced jail sentence, and is sort of behaving, I sort of like her again (but only if she really goes to jail and serves at least part of her sentence and I get to see her without her extensions which you can’t wear in jail)?
Is it weird…that this totally cracks me up?
Anyway, I went to see my dentist, and she says I am grinding my teeth and have TMJ, and it could be causing my acid reflux, and now I have to get a biteplate…for $750. For $750, I intend to wear my biteplate ALL THE TIME, not just at night. It’s too bad I am not getting it until after my tour is over, because I think you guys would really have appreciated seeing me in it. I know He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog will. Especially after I get it blinged out at Claire’s Boutique.
In other medical related news, my New York doctor is sending me for ANOTHER barium swallow on Monday, this time to check for ulcers. I am canceling my lunch plans, in order to avoid what happened last time.
OK, anyway, in book related news, did you know Queen of Babble is coming out in paperback on May 22–TUESDAY? You didn’t? Well, now you do! And the cover will look like this….
Isn’t it CUTE? Look for an ad for it in this month’s Vogue.
Since we were talking about what a liar the heroine of my new book Pants on Fire is, and since she’s based on me, here is another one of the biggest whoppers I’ve told in my time:
Lie #3: That I wasn’t popular in high school.
Okay, I wasn’t POPULAR, but I was sort of a geek by choice, not by default. I wasn’t in the “popular crowd” (if by “popular” you mean the people who went to sporting events and the parties revolving around them, which in my school was what popular meant) but I had friends…and boyfriends. I was really involved in the “drama crowd,” which meant I was in all the plays and musicals and went to parties revolving around them–although I hated parties then and I still do unless there are enough chairs for me to sit around with my friends and make fun of the drunk people (losers)!
The problem was with homework and rehearsals and my busy babysitting schedule (how I made money to buy the stuff I really needed, like makeup and Cyndi Lauper cassettes and typing ribbon), I would sometimes turn down invitations to do stuff in order to find time to write.
In retrospect, I wish I had said yes to more fun movie nights with the girls (and dates with my latest flame), instead of saying no, and spending so much time working on my still unpublished historical western romance about a morphine addicted sheriff and the prostitute who loved him and eventually cured him of his morphine addiction by locking him in the icehouse for three days (and no I am not lying, that’s really what it was about, and I still owe a big thank you to my Honors English teacher, Mrs. Granich, for not making fun of it when I gave her a copy of the finished manuscript to read).
But that’s the kind of thing I would do in high school. Say no to fun movie nights to work on The Deception of Darrowby Ayer. And that’s partly why I was so miserable during those years.
So, my advice? Do NOT do this. There is a time for working on your novel, and a time for having fun with your friends. Make sure you make time for BOTH. And friends should come first.
Until you start getting paid for the novels, of course. Then screw your friends.
Unless it’s your editor’s engagement lunch, of course.
A good place to go when making time for your friends is…
…a book signing featuring Meg Cabot! So maybe I’ll see you at RJ Julia on Saturday, or in Rye on Sunday!
One last thing:
Is it weird…that I laugh uncontrollably every time I see this?