I know you have come here looking for emotional and spiritual succor after the horrifying news.
But, people, I don't know any more than you do. I've called my contacts in Hollywood, demanding to know what is going on with Kathy Griffin and her now ex-husband Matt.
But all they will say is, “WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME AT SIX IN THE MORNING???”
Stupid time zones.
So you will just have to wait, like the rest of us, for Kathy's taped interview with Larry King that was supposed to have aired last night, but didn't, because of MEAN, SELFISH KIM IL JONG.
Oh, yeah, Kim. I'm talking to YOU. I know you read my blog. Stop pretending. I've seen your myspace. I know you're obsessed with The Princess Diaries, and specifically with Julie Andrews. I know your feelings were really hurt by TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE. I know you prefer cats to dogs and Pepsi to Coke. Also that you answered SEX to the question Love or Money (witty, Kim…NOT).
But don't be thinking just because you're a ruthless dictator reported to have fathered thirteen illegitimate children that you're all that, Kim. I've actually MET Julie Andrews. And she totally wouldn't accept you as a friend on HER myspace. So there.
And yes, I know what many of you thought when you saw the news: “Kathy's leaving her husband because he stole $72,000 from her? Doesn't she OWE him that much for all that hair dressing?”
Let's just wait until we hear the whole story until we jump to any conclusions people, shall we?
Stop I.M.ing me, Kim, I already told you I don't think you look good in that outfit.