I have a confession to make:
Well, okay, yes, I did burst out laughing when I heard Brooke Shields had her baby at the same time as TomKat (and I sure hope Tom sent Brooke a nice conflict-free diamond tennis bracelet or something to make up for being such a jerk to her). But I am not ashamed of that.
No, the shameful truth is: I have been watching 24.
I know! I can't believe I gave in! I have fully resisted the hype for years!
But it's not my fault. He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog made me do it.
Well, okay, not really. He watches it, and a few weeks ago I read an article about Jean Smart, who plays the First Lady on the show, and I like Jean Smart. Hello, Designing Women. Need I say more?
So I made the bad mistake of being all, “Is that show any good?” and HWSNBNITB was all, “Watch it with me and find out for yourself,” and I watched it one time (the night Jean Smart found out about the assassination attempt that was going to be on the Russian president, and jumped into the limo to stop it, risking her own life in a gamble that her husband the US President would Do The Right Thing—oh, Jean Smart, you fool!).
And now I cannot stop watching it! Because I'm so worried about Jean Smart!
That is how they suck you in! By making you think they are going to kill off Jean Smart! And I love her! I don't want her to die!
And now it looks like something bad happens to her in next week's episode, so I'm doubly worried.
And what about Chloe? I love Chloe! She's so crabby! I'm so worried about Chloe, the only character on television who is crabbier than me (besides Daria and Stan's sister Shelly on South Park)!
To anyone who does not watch this show, I know this sounds like gibberish, so now I will stop writing about it, except to say that it is scary when you don't even have TIME for a new show, and suddenly you find yourself sucked into one. I got sucked so deeply into 24 that when I found that puppy a few weeks ago (remember?) I named him Jack Bauer. I mean, before I found out his real owner lived across the street, and that he already had a name (D.O.G.).
But seriously, he just looked so worried and intense all the time, exactly like Jack Bauer!
Although in the puppy's case, it was because he was worried about being killed by my cats, and also was suffering from a bad case of a diarrhea from eating too much cat food, not because the fate of the Western World was resting on his shoulders.
Sigh. We have a LOT of shows to watch, people. Tiara Girls on MTV? Hello. And what about the new season of My Super Sweet Sixteen? Not to mention keeping up with So NoTORIous and the new seasons of Sopranos, Anthony Bourdain, and Kathy Griffin. When the new season of Weeds comes back on, I think my head will probably explode.
And to think a few weeks ago, I was complaining that I had nothing to watch! Why can't TV executives dole out the shows more evenly, so that there is ALWAYS something good to watch, instead of endless weeks when I am forced to watch reruns of The Golden Girls (not that this is a bad thing. Also, I'm Dorothy, which one are you?)?
In other news, congrats to my mother's boyfriend's daughter's husband's brother's wife, Geraldine, who won the Pulitzer Prize for literature for her book MARCH this week. I'm pretty sure that the last time I was at Geraldine's house, I didn't see a TV.
I'm not saying you need to have no TV to win a Pulitzer. But I bet it helps.
Hmmm….Pulitzer…or 24? Pulitzer…or 24?
Oh, whatever. Run, Jean Smart! Run!!!