Oh my God, you guys, I am NOT going to tell you which bestseller it was that I read and didn't like. You can email me as much as you want, begging, but I won't post the title, because I get sent to a lot of book festivals/author events where I could potentially run into the author. How embarrassing would that be if he/she happened to read on my blog that I was dissing his/her book, and I ended up having to sit next to him/her at some banquet?
I don't worry about running into the LEFT BEHIND authors at book festivals because they don't go to book festivals. And even if they did, I would ENJOY sitting next to them, because I would really like to ask them a few things, such as why, in the last book I read by them, when Jesus and his righteous army were fighting Satan and his minions, did Jesus kill Satan's army's horses with a single glance? Were the horses evil? How can animals be evil? Especially when, according to the LEFT BEHIND authors, animals have no souls?
I'm just saying. I really don't think Jesus would kill a horse. Even Satan's horse.
In order to stop myself from telling you which bestseller it was that I don't like—because you know I dearly want to—I have decided instead to show you something else you've been clamoring to see. No, not a clear photo of He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog, I'm not STUPID, I still want him to cook for me, and if I posted his photo he would totally let me starve.
No, instead I am posting some of my artwork from when I was a teen. Yes! You are about to see some of fine, fine creations I did from ages 12-16.
And I am not just doing this because I can't think of anything else to post, or because I just happened to find my portfolio, or because I am trying to distract you from asking which book it was I hated so much. I am doing it, people, for all three of those reasons. Also because it's freaking hilarious. In my own opinion.
So. Stay tuned. It's going up tomorrow (Wednesday). Be there. Or be square.
In the meantime, please take the latest book club quiz if you'd like to know which 80s teenage film heroine you are most like. Come on, you know you want to. Michele and I worked really hard on this quiz, so the least you can do is play along (PS I'm Ally Sheedy from BREAKFAST CLUB. In case you hadn't already guessed. Well, after you see my art, you'll KNOW that's who I am).