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Meg's Blog

A Play, in One Act

Scene:
7AM in a house somewhere in Southern Florida

Players:
Husband
Wife
12 pound cat

Husband:
Honey. Get up. The packers are here to pack up all our stuff and then the movers are coming to move us.

Wife:
*#$%& the packers.

Husband:
Honey, I know you're not a morning person and that if you don't have at least nine hours of sleep per night you feel cranky all day. However, I am not the one who stayed up all night watching The Core and eating cheese popcorn, so please don't take it out on me.

Wife:
@#*&$(!

Husband:
I agree. But I don't think there's any actor on earth who could say the line, “The planet is healing itself” and not sound like a tool.

Wife:
^&#*&!

Husband:
I know the cat knocked your laptop off the bed and it still isn't fixed. But the guys at Mac Solutions said they could save your data and that they are going to return it all to you on a brand new Powerbook that, yes, you do have to pay for, along with the thousands of dollars you owe them for the data retrieval. But it will only be a few more days before you have a computer and you won't have to keep using mine and the AlphaSmart 3000 you bought for use by the pool. And by then you will be living in a brand new house, as well!

Wife:
@#^&)($!

Husband:
I know Lindsay Lohan's recent extreme weight loss is troubling. But you still have to get up.

Wife:
*(@&*^&#!

Husband:
I know. I wish he were dating Lindsay Lohan instead of Katie Holmes, too. We all do. We all want to free Katie.

Wife:
*(#$^!

Husband:
Well, maybe if you hadn't eaten the whole bag, they'd still fit.

Wife:
(*#+=!

Husband:
Yes, I enjoyed watching The Dan Band on Bravo as well, and I agree, their performance should be available on DVD so you can watch them without having all the bad words bleeped out and still get to see their excellent dancing, which you can't do with their CD. And yes, I loved the Meg Cabot Book Club pick of the month, IF WE KISS by Rachel Vail, very much as well. I'm glad that since your computer had its fatal accident, you've been soothing your frazzled nerves by reading it, as well as other great books such as Louise Rennison's newest installment in the Georgia Nicolson series, THEN HE ATE MY BOY ENTRANCERS, and Susan Juby's fabulous sequel to MISS SMITHERS, ALICE MACLEOD, REALIST AT LAST. However, the packers are now here, and unless you want them to pack you, I suggest you get up.

Wife:
(^#$ the packers!

Husband:
Okay, fine. Don't say I didn't warn you. Just so you know, though, they're packing your TaB. If you don't get up now, you won't be able to have one until we move to the new house.

Wife:
I'm up.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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