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Meg's Blog

Advice

It's that time again. Yes, Dr. Michele Jaffe, Harvard PhD, and I both have books due soon. So of course, we just HAD to dip into the mail bag and answer some of your pleas for advice. Shhhh–don't tell our editor!

And don't forget to stop by here at 7PM EST tonight for a LIVE ONLINE CHAT with Melissa de la Cruz–the author of the amazing May Pick of the Month, FRESH OFF THE BOAT–and myself! Talk about this great book, and find out the title of the book club's June Pick of the Month.

Speaking of the book club, tomorrow is the Meg Cabot Book Club's one year anniversary! I remember thinking a year ago it would be great if we could get 200 members. Well, a year later we have over 8,000! So thanks for joining, and for supporting such great books like FRESH OFF THE BOAT, Susan Juby's MISS SMITHERS, and Mariah Frederick's THE TRUE MEANING OF CLEAVAGE, just to name a few!

Now, for the advice. Remember, you asked for it:

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Dear Meg and Michele
I am turning 3rd year HS next school year, and I'm very excited about JS prom. Though, it's been troubling me that I have hairy legs. It's not like a guy's but it's noticable. I've talked to my mom about this and she said that I am still to young to wax or shave. She said that if I start waxing or shaving, the hair would start to thicken and I should continue doing it. I was scared at the hair thickening part, but what about prom? What should I do?
–Never Been Shaved
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Michele says:
P ut
A way that sad face
N ever Been Shaved, and start smiling because I have
T wo little words that will solve
Y our problem but good.
H o ho you laugh,
O h how you kid! But I kid not: check out the
S ecret message right before your
E yes
!

Do you see it? The secret message?
PANTY HOSE! They will solve all your problems. Meg has some kind of phobia of nude panty hose, and we wish to humor her, but they have come a long way since she her pet Triceratops made runs in them with his love nips, and there are many sheer kinds that are comfortable and won't be too hot. You could also wear cool colored ones that contrast groovily with your dress, making you the chicest girl at the prom. This is what French women (and Meg) do.

Meg says:
Nude pantyhose bring back horrible memories of my days in showchoir that are better left untapped. However, I don't understand why shaving your legs is such a big deal to your mom. And what about your underarms? And those pesky little hairs that will peek out of the side of your bathing suit bottom this summer? How can she object to getting rid of THOSE? It is a myth that the hair grows back thicker—it just seems that way because the hair is stubbly until it grows long enough to be silky again. But if you shave regularly, this shouldn't be a problem. Shaving takes no time once you get the hang of it. Think about it: guys do it every day, to their FACE. I think it's time for a heart to heart with Mom, because, not to put it indelicately, you shouldn't look like you're French at your prom. Unless of course you ARE French.

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hey meg n michele, i have a problem i know this guy and i like him but he kind of does me but he says i'm to clingy and thats why he dosn't want to date me. well i called him last nite and he hung up on me and won't talk to me at all but i don't know why. but i have this other guy who will talk to me even to just say that he can't tlak and he is so nice to me! but i don't know who to like and who to stay with as a friend. well i'm in school so i have to go so write me back
*

Michele says:
This letter is so tough, I'm going to paraphrase it and then let you all come up with the answer:

Paraphrase: Dear Meg, I have this one friend who is fully rude to me, ignores my feelings, and makes me feel bad for no reason, and this other one who is nice and thoughtful. Which one should I take on my fabulous all expense paid vacation to Disneyland including free ice cream and hats?

The answer is obvious right? You take the NICE ONE.

Meg says:
Yeah. Duh. Dump the mean guy, stay with the nice one. WHY WON'T YOU GIRLS LEARN????

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Dear Meg and Michele,
I could really use your help. My friend likes this guy at school, right, but we just found out that he likes me. Wait, it gets worse! Now she's all mad at me & not talking to me. supposedly she thinks that I've been flirting with him, when that's the farthest thing from the truth!!!! If any thing I've been ignoring him.but what ever. what should i do?
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Michele says:
I believe we are seeing a sad and pathetic truth: boys like to be ignored. Tell your friend to start ignoring the guy and stop ignoring you. Also, friends should not get mad at friends over guys. Your friend is taking out her sad feelings on you, which is wrong. You can tell her I said so. And teach her the magic boysnaring mantra: IGNORE. HIM.

Meg says:
Really, she doesn't sound like a very good friend. Maybe you should dump her and go for the guy after all (for more on this, visit Meg Cabot Book Club in June for a special HOW GOOD A FRIEND ARE YOU? Quiz in the Polls/Quiz section).

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Dear Meg and Michele, I'm 15 years old. And I really, really like this guy friend of mine. He's taller then me, he's funny, smart, sweet (He opens doors for girls!), he's a year older, and he sings and plays piano. I met him at our school's Variety Show last month and we've been good friends since. I don't have any classes with him though but I seem him in the halls on an average of 3 times a day. He usually waves to me and sometimes we talk. He hasn't made eye contact with me maybe 2 times but usually he does and makes some kind of recognition of my existence. I really really like him but
A: I suck at flirting. I am disgrace to all females.
B: What if he doesn't like me in return? I don't want to tell him and ruin our friendship.
I'm really old fashion, so i'm all “He has to call,” “He has to ask me out,” etc. So what do I do? How can I get this guy hooked but not ruin our really good friendship? Thanks!
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Michele says:
IGNORE HIM! Wow, this advice thing is easy this time. No, for real, I would start with just saying 'hi' and a little more eye contact, then when you're ready move into 'how are you' and even then, 'tater tots for lunch?' or some other show of your wit and coolness. It sounds like he's old fashioned and a bit shy too, so giving him a few indications that you're into him like that will hopefully get him to activate the dialing finger.

Meg says:
He sounds too good to be true. Are you sure he isn't gay? Ask around. If not, ask him to join you AND A GROUP OF FRIENDS to go to some GROUP event such as bowling or a movie. That is not asking him out. That is asking him to do something AS A FRIEND, with OTHER FRIENDS. Seriously, it's the only way you're going to be able to spend time with him, unless you join a club he belongs to. Just suck it up and ask. The worst that could happen is he says no. You'll survive. Remember, “faint heart never won fair lady.”

Michele says: But she doesn't want to date a lady.

Meg says: Oh just because you're a doctor you think you are so smart. Its called extrapolation.

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Dear Meg and Michele, I am a junior in high school, and I have never worn make up. I would really like to experiment and see if I might want to start wearing make up regularly. Even if I don't end up wearing it regularly, I would like to know how to do make up for my prom. I was
hoping that you might be able to help me. I would really
appreciate your expertise and/or suggestions of other resources where I might learn about using make up. If you do help me, please use easy to understand terminology because I am seriouly illiterate when it comes to make up. Thanks a lot for your help!
Love,
Makeupless Miriam
*

Michele says:
Makeup! Fun! There are tons of places on line and in magazines where you can get make up application tips (I like Sephora's Get The Look section), and if you want more professional advising, you can go to a department store, pick the make up counter with the eyeshadow colors you like best (or the cutest gift-with-purchase-tote-bag), and throw yourself on the mercy of whoever is working there, asking what would look best on you (No department stores in your town? Pay a cyber visit to this one. You don't have to buy the products…just follow the tips.)

But before you do any of that, I think you could just start off with two basics that never fail and are impossible to put on wrong. They are:

1. mascara (dark brown or black to start off with)
2. light color lip gloss (clear or a pink/red color that is slightly darker than your lips)

Those two will give you a natural-but-slightly-enhanced look. If you want to do more, pick a blush that is close to your natural cheek color, smile in the mirror, and lightly brush it on the apples of your cheeks (the round parts in the front).

And you're done.
Whatever you do, remember these two mantras:

Mantra 1: less is more at the makeup store
Mantra 2: what goes on must come off. Nice, natural skin is better than any make up at all.

Meg says:
And don't forget to shave before prom!

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Dear Meg and Michele, I am really woried,I think that my boyfriend fancies this girl who is horrid. me and her dont exactly get along she hates me because my boyfriend always sticks up for me but she kisses him and gets in to him when im not there but he pushes her awaybut hes always with her.He has gone out with her before what should I do im worried
singed
worried girl
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Michele says:
IGNORE HIM. By which I mean, break up with him now. Not just because of how he is treating you, which is with not enough respect, but also because of how he is treating this other girl.

Meg says:
Seriously. He's a jerk. Ditch him now. You'll find someone better in no time.

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dear michelle and meg,
i like this boy and i think he likes me too.but everytime my friends ask him if he likes me he ignores them.does he like me?how do i get him to tell the truth?
from,
i want to know the truth!
*

Michele says:
Since 'ignore' is the new 'like', him ignoring your friends when they ask him is proof that he likes you! Don't pressure him, just be nice and natural around him, and he'll soon be telling you–not your friends–how much he digs your smooth suave ways.

Meg says:
And quit having your friends ask if he likes you. You're going to scare him off like a startled fawn.

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Dear Meg or Michele, All my life I have been the “good girl”. I get good grades, I've never had detention, I don't curse, and I've never dated. I'm only 13 but I mean, I feel like I'm in the slow lane. Everyone @ school has had like at least 3 boyfriends and @ school I'm considered the “goody,goody” I'm not a teacher's pet or a dork anything like that. My mom is really protective of me and I can't even go to the mall by myself! I feel like I'm 2!! Boys just don't want to go out with the “good girl” I don't want to get in trouble @ school but I mean come on I don't want to be a goody-goody 4 ever!! HELP ME!! Thx ~Lacrosse Freak(seriously!!)
*

Michele says:
Everybody's getting two words today, and my two words to you are:
NICE WORK!
For real, you are not in the Slow Lane, you are in your Own Lane. Doing what's comfortable for you, notwithstanding what other speed racers are doing around you, is the smartest and best thing. I'm, um, older than you and I can't go to the mall by myself either. Of course that is because of my little shopping problem, but still. Seriously, as we have mentioned before, you're not missing anything by not dating thirteen year old guys (hold on to your newsie caps, ladies, those of you who are getting ready to email Meg with fingers-of-fury to say, 'my boyfriend is 13 and he's a PRINCE. Take it back!' To you I say: I hear you, you're lucky, now go play with him and leave those of us who have to live in Notperfectworldsylvania alone before we do something drastic). At some point someone will come along and catch your eye and then you can ignore him.
I mean, go out with him.

Meg says:
You do not want the kind of boys who like non-goody-goody girls. Just keep being your sweet self and you will be rewarded ten-fold by landing a GREAT guy when the time is right. Because the kind of boys who like non-goody-goody girls are the kind of boys who end up in rehab and/or having to work for their dads because no one else will hire them. TRUST ME ON THIS.

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Meg or Michele, I DESPERATLY need your help..
I go to a small school, with really evil EVIL girls. I haven't done ANYTHING to them, I barely even talk to them, and they HATE me. And I've known them for more than half my life. They JUST started hating me, and everyone tells me its because they think I'm perfect. Pleasseeee. These girls had a meeting about me, yup all bout me, and not about good things either. And one girl says the meanest things about me in her blog.
I wouldn't be obsessing over this if we had other people in my class, but we don't.

I'm frustrated, because we only have one month left together as a class before we all graduate, and all I ever wanted to do was be friends with everyone

what do I do?
*

Michele says:
These girls are clearly envious of you and are trying to get a rise out of you, so you should—YES, I'M SAYING IT AGAIN–ignore them. And I mean TOTALLY ignore them i.e. not even read her blog (why why WHY would you go read your enemy's blog? WHYYYYYYY? By doing that you are playing right. into. their. devious. and. blood-caked. hands. This also means you with Amazon reviews, Miss You Know Who You Are—cough–Meg Cabot) or even think “I wonder what meangirl is thinking.” Just go on with your life. That will be the best revenge and also, its the right thing to do. Plus, p.s. its the last month before graduation. You should enjoy it not go getting all bitter and twisted. That is very very bad for the skin. Let the other girl get Bitter-and-Twisted-Zits.

Meg says:
I never look up my Amazon reviews. Anymore.
Anyway, this letter reminds me of a famous song by the Go-Gos (and recently re-released by Hillary Duff and her sister) that we should ALL repeat to ourselves like a mantra (I certainly do, whenever I accidentally go to Amazon and see some of my reviews):

Can you hear them?
They talk about us
Telling lies
Well, that's no surprise
Can you see them?
See right through them?
They have no shield
No secrets to reveal

It doesn't matter what they say
In the jealous games people play
Hey, hey, hey

Our lips are sealed

There's a weapon
Which we must use
In our defense:
Silence
Spreading rumors
So far from true
Dragged up from the underworld
Just like some precious pearl

It doesn't matter what they say
In the jealous games people play
Hey, hey, hey

Our lips are sealed

Pay no mind to what they say
It doesn't matter anyway
Hey, hey, hey

Our lips are sealed

Hush, my darling
Don't you cry
Cryin' angel
Forget THEIR lies

GOT IT??? Good. Nuff said.

Now go have a great Memorial Day weekend–and don't forget to come to my chat tonight! If you can't make that, bring your suggestions and ideas for the future of the book club to a live chat with the site's designer and administrator, Janey, on Saturday morning!

More later.

Much love,

Meg
(and Michele)

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