So Princess Diaries Volume 5, Princess in Pink, is out in paperback today, along with Princess Diaries Volume 6, Princess in Training, in hardback, and everyone wants to know:
What does TCHA mean?
The answer is: Tcha means Yes, as in “tcha = Yeah. Popularized by Mike Myers in the “Wayne's World” movies. Example: Q: So, you got her number? A: Tcha.” (from the online Slang Dictionary).
Tcha is pronounced like cha, but with a T in front of it, as in “Don'tcha,” “gotcha,” and “Whatcha talkin' about, Willis” (although technically that last one would be Whatchu).
In other news:
The new Little House on the Prairie by Disney? With the exception of Pa being TOTALLY HOT, what is the point of remaking it? Seriously. Did he ever get really sweaty out on the plain and take his shirt off? Not that I ever saw. So why should I watch it?
And are Laura and Mary supposed to be twins? Why are they so close to the same age? And why are they like, seven? There can't be any fun flirtations with Almanzo when you're SEVEN. Plus, they look like little mini-Mary Kate and Ashley, pre-eating disorder/college.
Although I should point out that the dog who plays Jack lives here in Key West. No joke. We are all very proud of him. Or her.
The Office: The BBC version. I watched it all weekend. It was good. Did you know it is a romance? I never realized that. Well, not really a romance, but there is a sweet love story that I'm sure won't end well, but DON'T TELL ME HOW IT ENDS if you already know.
The US version of the Office also seems good.
So far, so good.
Looks like it really is over for Jen and Brad. She filed for divorce. Poor Jen. Poor Brad. At least Us Weekly discovered that guy with the CRAZY HAIR and BEARD in Greece claiming to be Brad to the Australian volleyball team was really an IMPOSTER. Oh, yes.
Britney is either pregnant or really, really bloated, according to both US Weekly AND People Magazine. Here's what Britney has to say on her website: “Madonna first introduced Kabbalah to me at a time in my life when it was much needed. It has helped me get rid of a lot of negative influences that were guiding me down the wrong path.”
I too have often sought to rid myself of negative influences that were guiding me down the wrong path. I did this by avoiding the candy aisle at Publix. Not that this helped on Easter, when I accidentally ate a whole bag of those candy-coated malted milk ball eggs.
Seriously, though, I don't blame Britney. Sometimes, you just NEED to marry a parasitic serial impregnator who will leave you for someone richer the minute she comes along. You know, to get rid of the negative influences in your life.
Did I just write that? I'm AWFUL! Sorry, Britney. The truth is, I do love you. Enough to say: LEAVE HIM NOW!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T LOOK BACK!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know about this Kabbalah thing, it seems a lot like Scientology
since only rich people seem to be involved in it and I read in Elle Magazine that they were forcing people to marry against their will. Maybe that's what happened with you and Kevin, Britney. I'm sorry, but it's not too late, you can come stay at my house, they'll never find you here. Just GO, NOW, while you can still run without waddling!!!!
Sigh. It's just so sad.
I seriously tried to watch MOM AT 16 on Lifetime but it was WAY TOO BORING. Everyone I know watched it though so don't worry, I know what happened. I am looking forward to ODD GIRL OUT, also on Lifetime, later in April.
So I noticed there's this thing in the blogosphere lately where writers are doing a romance review every Monday in their blogs, to kind of promote the romance genre, and so I thought I'd join them, even though this isn't Monday. I'd like to review the first romance I ever read. It was called GENERIC ROMANCE and my dad bought it for me as a joke in the grocery store at the height of the generic craze, you know, when everyone realized they were paying extra for packaging, so they started buying generic Frosted Flakes and generic Rice-a-Roni and stuff?
Anyway, I guess as a joke they put out this series of books—Generic Romance Novel, Generic Detective Novel, Generic Sci-Fi novel. So my dad bought me the romance because he thought I'd be grossed out and it would be funny, since I always made fun of girls who read romance novels in school (not to their faces, just behind their backs. We ALL did, my best friend's parents taught English literature, we were TAUGHT to be snobby about romance novels).
Anyway, I WAS grossed out and Dad had a good laugh and then he went away and I started to read it, so I could make fun of it in front of my friends later.
AND IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, basically, it was about this novice (you know, beginner nun) named Terry who gets swept off her feet at a party—literally: into this lilac bush or something–by this hot guy who doesn't realize she's a novice, and then when Mother Superior catches them, he's all freaked out and leaves, and Terry's like, “Maybe I shouldn't become a nun after all.”
Then years pass and Terry has become a nurse in the convent hospital and the guy comes back to the convent because his little girl is one of Terry's patients and she has a brain tumor and he needs a nurse to be with her on the long cruise to South America or wherever the operation is going to be because they can't take a plane or her tumor will burst (or something). And he specifically wants Terry because the little girl has written to him to say she loves Terry so much—but he didn't know it was HIS Terry (or did he??????)
And Terry's all, “I can't!” because she didn't know HE was the little girl's dad and she knows he'll just sweep her off her feet again.
But Mother Superior's like, “You must do it, Terry. For the child.”
So Terry goes, and of course he sweeps her off her feet again on the boat a BUNCH of times, and then Terry finds a letter the little girl wrote to her mother and realizes she has just committed adultery and freaks out, but then the guy tells her his wife is dead and the kid was writing to her in heaven, so then they sweep each other off their feet again, and they get to wherever the operation is supposed to be, and it turns out the whole time HE HAS THE BRAIN TUMOR!!! NOT THE LITTLE GIRL!!!!
And he had just wanted to make sure that if he died, the kid would be with someone who loved her (Terry) not someone like her heinous social climbing Mom who is dead now anyway.
Yes. It was SO GOOD. Because of course he survived brain surgery and they got married and had kids of their own and it ended HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Seriously. All that, in like 60 pages. I read it 400,000 times. And then I went to the library and checked out every single Kathleen Woodiwiss, Penny Jordan, Barbara Cartland, and Janet Dailey they had. I was hooked. I became one of those girls I used to make fun of. And I DIDN'T CARE.
And then when I saw Romancing the Stone, the movie, I knew: I had to become a romance writer, just like Joan Wilder and the author of GENERIC ROMANCE.
So, you see? All because of a joke present that you can't even BUY anymore.
And yes, some of my friends–and even their parents–DID make fun of me for reading romances. Until I got published and they saw what my print run was versus theirs, and they were like, “Do you have any tips on writing romance novels, Meg?” and I said, “Yes, yes, I do, visit www.megcabotbookclub.com and go to th
e writing forum in Message Boards. And good luck.”