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Meg's Blog

Trouble in Parisdise

So I had a nice weekend visit with my mom in Maryland. Her boyfriend, my former teacher (yes, just like Mia and Mr. Gianini, only “The Princess Diaries” is of course a work of fiction and any resemblance between Mr. Gianini and my mother's boyfriend is purely coincidental, as anyone who knows him is fully aware), had an art opening, and a lot of my family showed up for it. It was fun visiting and looking at the art and stuff, even though it was quite cold in Maryland and I got blisters from my closed-toe shoes.

Anyway, everything was going along swimmingly until my cell phone rang and I picked it up and it was Paris.

(As you know, conversations with Paris often lead to Degrassi spoilers, as this is her favorite show, so if you don't want to know what happened on Degrassi recently, you might want to go read someone else's blog.)

PARIS:
“Did you get it?”

ME:
“Paris, I am a little busy. I am at my mom's boyfriend's art opening. Where are you, anyway? I can barely hear you. Is that Tinkerbell barking in the background?”

PARIS:
“Yeah, she hates Mary Hart. Right now we're at the premiere of ICE PRINCESS, which you are missing because you are at your mom's. Hee, stop it, Trevor! Not in front of that Entertainment Tonight cameraman! Ooops, sorry about that, Meg, Trevor Blumas just tried to French me. Again.”

ME:
“Do you even like him?”

PARIS:
“Duh, he's hot. But not as hot as Craig from Degrassi. Oh my God, did you see it the other night?”

ME:
“No, I accidentally TiVoed the wrong episode. What happened? Did Ashley change her mind and accept Craig's marriage proposal?”

PARIS:
“Oh, yeah, she agreed to marry him at some unspecified time in the future (when they're much older—which, if you ask me, was stupid of her, since it just makes it easier for ME to steal him from her). But then it turns out Craig is bi-polar! He offered to let Ashley off the hook (“I understand if you never want to see me again”), but she forgave him, and it all ended happily. Until I steal Craig away at a future date.”

ME:
“Whoa. Awesome.”

PARIS:
“But that's not why I'm calling: I want to know if you got it.”

ME:
“Got what?”

PARIS:
“Your invitation to Charles and Camilla's wedding! Because I didn't get mine! But Kim Catrall, who is here at the premiere, got hers! And so did Joan Cusack, who is also in Ice PRINCESS and is here at the premiere. Do you think we're not invited?”

ME:
“Well, Prince Charles did seem kind of jealous that I had my own Princess For A Day celebration at Harrods when I was in England last October. He complained that Harrods had never had a Prince Charles For a Day celebration.”

PARIS:
“Plus there was that thing you said about him in your blog that one time.”

ME:
“You think he read that?”

PARIS:
“Duh, he totally reads your blog, he called me and was like, 'You know I had nothing to do with Di's death, right, Paris?' and I was all, 'Whatever you say, OJ, I mean, Prince Charles.'”

ME:
“Whoa. I guess I'm not invited, then. Bummer.”

PARIS:
“But what about ME? All I ever did was send Camilla some things from my new line of beauty products. Do you think maybe that offended her? I was just trying to help! I know everyone can't be as pretty as me!”

ME:
“That's probably what did it, Paris.”

PARIS:
“I just don't understand it. This is the wedding of the decade, and I'm not invited! I mean, I just saw J-Lo, and SHE got an invitation! It's not fair! I'm way hotter than J-Lo! Plus, I have way more in common with the Queen than she does. We both own dogs. Oh, shoot, I have to go. Tinkerbell just bit Mary Hart again.”

ME:
“OK. But wait, before you go, Paris—how did you like ICE PRINCESS?”

PARIS:
“Oh my God, it was so HOT! Everybody should go when it opens on March 18! And since ICE PRINCESS is rated G, it's good for the whole family, unlike the movie I starred in most recently. Okay, bye for now. Tinkerbell! Let Mary Hart go!”

So, as you can see, it was quite a weekend. I'm home now though, and back to work. Key West has been over run by Spring Breakers, but I'm sure we'll survive somehow.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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