×
Meg's Blog

Things I’ve Been Obsessing About Lately

1) Geoff Ritchie. Who is Geoff Ritchie, you ask? Don't tell me you haven't heard of him! He's the guy with the huge portwine birthmark who they featured on three, count them, THREE episodes of “Extreme Surgery,” one of my favorite shows, since of course, I WANTED to be a doctor (okay, a vet) but no one would let me into medical school with only 410 on my math SATs.

I have watched enough “Exteme Surgery,” however, that I am confident if the world ends and only a ragtag bunch of survivors are left (including me), I will be able to perform surgery on them, should the need arise, no problem.

Anyway, all his life Geoff was told there was “nothing that could be done” about his birthmark, which grew so large it blocked off one of his auditory canals, and basically super-sized his head.

But one doctor was like, “Dude, let me try” (not a direct quote) and worked diligently at whittling down Geoff's birthmark through eight (so far) surgeries (you can see before and after pics on Geoff's website here. Caution: they are pretty graphic. If you are thinking it's going to be like when the Phantom rips off his mask in “Phantom of the Opera,” it's not. It's much, much worse). The doctor's still got a lot of work to do. It all kind of depends on whether or not Geoff is willing to put himself through more surgeries.

But if I were Geoff, I'd go for it. I keep wondering what people do when they see Geoff walking down the street. I mean, they must freak out, unless they saw “Extreme Surgery,” like I did. If I saw Geoff, like in a restaurant or whatever, I'd be like, “Geoff! Come sit with us!” Then I'd tell him to watch more “Star Trek.” Here's why:

2) I am seriously starting to believe that you can learn everything you need to, spirituality-wise, from those old episodes of “Star Trek.” Yes, the ones starring William Shatner. Seriously. Have you watched it lately? I admit it's a bit dated compared to like, “Star Trek Next Generation.” But spiritually speaking, the original “Star Trek” has it all: being tolerant of others who might be different than you are—you know, a Vulcan or whatever; not killing except in self-defense; not lusting after your communications officer; helping others less fortunate than yourself (ie planets who haven't discovered space travel yet–but not helping TOO much, and thus violating the prime directive); not being greedy. You name a sin, there is a “Star Trek” episode that teaches us an imprortant lesson about it.

Look, I'm not saying they should make a religion based on “Star Trek” (although probably someone already has—and also, I am not sure this is such a bad idea: there are way stupider religions based on way stupider things than “Star Trek”).

I just think that if, say, you happened to grow up in the Midwest in the 70s/80s, and the only time “Start Trek” was on was 10AM Sunday mornings, and you didn't have a VCR, and your parents wanted you go to church at that time, but you wanted to stay home to watch “Star Trek,” you would get as much, if not MORE, spiritual education/satisfaction from “Star Trek” as you would from church, especially if the church you went to had a youth program where all anybody ever thought of was hooking up, despite the best efforts of the youth leaders, and the girls in the group who were the most vocal about sex before marriage being a sin were also the ones having the most sex before marriage.

Oh, and what about the time those girls totally lied about doing good works around their neighborhood as their part of our community assignment, and while some of us were out there having tea with housebound seniors, listening to a bunch of octogenarians go, “Meg Cavett? Is your dad DICK CAVETT?” over and over again, these particular girls were making out with the football team (okay not really the WHOLE team, but at least the defensive line)?

If that happened to be the case, it might, conceivably, be better for you to stay home and watch “Star Trek.”

Not that this ever happened to me. I'm just saying. In comparison, Ricardo Montalban as Khan might speak to us in a way our youth leader never, ever, could. Geoff might really benefit from the teachings of “Star Trek,” and if he is reading this, I urge him to tune in.

Other things I am obsessing about:

3) Gwen Stefani. Seriously, what is up with Gwen? I'm very worried about her. She has a new album out, but almost every single one of her appreances to promote it was cancelled (you can check her website here to see for yourself). Is she really sick, as her publicist claims? Or is she trying to stay out of the limelight due to emotional turmoil over the revelation that her husband Gavin Rossdale has a fifteen-year-old daughter from a previous relationship and never told her/knew it? Gwen, if you are reading this (not likely) it's OKAY. I'm sure your new stepdaughter thinks you're incredibly cool! And these things happen. At least you don't have a giant portwine birthmark taking over your head. Buck up! Watch some “Star Trek.” Remember the one where Kirk found out he had a son? Okay, maybe he already knew. I can't remember. Still, he dealt with it! You can, too.

4) Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt separating. What is UP with this? It's so upsetting! It's like Sandy and Kirsten on “The OC” splitting up (perish the thought)! Is it true Jennifer doesn't want kids? And that Brad had a fling with Angelina? Are they getting divorced, or just taking a break? Remember what happened when Ross and Rachel took a break? How can they leave us hanging like this????

5) That's all I can think of at the moment, I just left for a book tour but the very first plane I was supposed to take out of Key West broke down (thankfully before we ever even took off), and I'm stuck in Key West overnight until my new flight leaves at the crack of dawn tomorrow AM (by the way, those of you attending my signing in Oxford, Miss tomorrow: I'm going to be alittle bit late).

Perhaps this is why Geoff Ritchie, “Star Trek,” Gwen, Jen, and Brad are weighing so heavily on my mind.

But I'm sure I'll adjust. I'll keep you posted along the way. In meantime, here's where you might be able to bump into me, if I ever get out of Key West:

Saturday, January 08, 2005 03:00 PM (um, maybe more like 4–call the bookstore)
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
Square Books
160 Courthouse Square, Oxford, MS 38655

Sunday, January 09, 2005 03:00 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
DAVIS-KIDD
387 Perkins Road Extended, Memphis, TN 38117

Monday, January 10, 2005 12:20 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
WHAS-TV/TV 11

Monday, January 10, 2005 07:00 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
BORDERS #571
2520 S. Hustborne Gem Lane, Louisville, KY 40220

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 12:40 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
WKYT-TV/Afternoon Show

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 07:00 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
JOSEPH-BETH BOOKSELLERS
161 Lexington Green Circle, Lexington, KY 40503

Thursday, January 13, 2005 05:30 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
WTOL 11 (CBS)/Live at Five

Thursday, January 13, 2005 07:00 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
THACKERAY'S BOOKS
3301 West Central Avenue, Toledo, OH 43606

Saturday, Janua
ry 15, 2005 03:00 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
BARNES & NOBLE # 2718
9370 Sheridan Blvd, Westminster, CO 80030

Monday, January 17, 2005 07:30 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
BOULDER BOOKSTORE
1107 Pearl Street, Boulder, CO 80302

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 07:00 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
CERRITOS PUBLIC LIBRARY
18025 Bloomfield Ave., Cerritos, CA 90701

Thursday, January 20, 2005 07:00 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
VROMAN'S BOOKSTORE
695 E. Colorado Boulevard, Pasadena, CA 91101

Friday, January 21, 2005 06:00 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
BORDERS
3700 Torrance Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90503

Sunday, January 23, 2005 02:00 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
BORDERS
19925 Biscayne Blvd., Aventura, FL 33180

Monday, January 24, 2005 03:30 PM
Meg will be promoting Every Boy's Got One
FAIRMONT HOTELS/Fairmont Turnberry Isle Resort
19999 West Country Club Drive, Aventura, FL 33180

Hope to see you there!

More later.

Much love,

Meg

Show Buttons
Hide Buttons