2004 Boy Meets Girl Book Tour Entry #1
Greetings from Portland, OR!
So, I’m traveling all over in order to promote my new book, BOY MEETS GIRL. Tonight, I’m in Oregon, which, for those of you who don’t know, is in the very very Northwest of America. There was this really big snowstorm here last week, and everything was shut down for four or five days. Oregonian school kids got four days off (lucky ducks). They even cancelled my original flight because all of the planes were getting coated in ice and tipping over (not kidding—there was a photo of a tipped over plane in the paper today). Also they aren’t used to snow here so there’s only like one plow or something so they couldn’t plow.
That might be an exaggeration about there being only one plow in Portland.
Anyway, it was kind of cool flying into this winter wonderland—except that everyone else on the plane FREAKED OUT to see their native land covered in snow. They were all, “How will I dig my car out???” I guess this is the biggest snowstorm Portland has had in like a century. I am delighted to be here, because I love a weather crisis.
So I did some radio interviews and went to a book signing this afternoon at Powell’s in Beaverton. I got to the signing way early, so the media escort, Nancy, and I hung out with the some of the Powell’s employees. When you’re an author, publishers TOTALLY don’t trust you to get to your book signings on time. I guess they’ve had some problems with authors wandering off and ending up at Ben and Jerry’s, all hopped up on Chunky Monkey or whatever. Not me, of course, since I’m on antibiotics and I’m not allowed to have carbs (which by the way rules out the entire contents of my hotel mini bar) and all I want to do is watch TV anyway.
But I’ve heard rumors.
So to combat dereliction of duty, publishers assign you an escort, whose job it is to keep tabs on you during your stay and help with the book signing and tell you cool gossip about Sebastian Junger’s sexy chest hair and stuff (sorry, my policy is, “What’s said in the media escort’s car STAYS in the media escort’s car” so no details on that one. But sometimes you DO have to change clothes in the media escort’s car, if you get a run in your hose or ketchup on your shirt or whatever. We’ve all been there, Sebastian.).
Nancy and I had a fun time hanging with the cool Powell’s employees. Then I went out and did the signing. The fabulous thing was that at this signing, there was a deaf person in the audience, so I had a sign language interpreter interpreting everything I said! It was SO COOL. I felt all special, like the President, or something. I wish I knew sign language. But I have enough trouble just remembering regular English.
Anyway, I had a fun time signing books and visiting with the Oregonians, who were a very good audience. In some places (such as…well, I won’t give examples. You know who you are) people are afraid to ask questions. But my whole speech is based on people’s questions. So if people don’t ask questions, I can’t do my speech. So if you’re coming to one of my signings in the next two weeks, ask questions, like the Oregonians!
Now I’m really tired from jet lag and stuff, so I’m going to go to bed (if the symphony violinist in the room next door to mine will stop PRACTICING anytime soon. I feel like Mia and those guys in G and T. I mean, it’s PRETTY, but I’m trying to watch Trading Spaces! Hello!)
Tomorrow I leave for Seattle. Hopefully I’ll see some of you there. You can check out my signing locations/times on the Author Tour section of this website. Remember, if I’m not coming to a town near you, it’s because no bookstores in your area invited me. But if you ask them nicely, maybe they’ll invite me for my Princess Diaries 5 tour!
And to Stephan, Angelica, and Athrylis, special thanks for coming SO FAR to see me!