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Live from Harry Potter! Arcade Fire! RWA! and More!

More Reports From the Front Lines

Okay, so I’m definitely no Christiane Amanpour because I’m finally home and I know I did a horrible job of reporting from the front lines (except for the occasional Tweet/Facebook update). Which sucks because there’s so much I meant to tell you guys (especially those of you who want to be writers).

But don’t worry. I kept notes so I wouldn’t forget!

Like during my “Chat With” that I gave during the conference: To the person who asked, “What do we do about the fact that some agents don’t seem to want to hear the words chick lit?”

There’s a reason why books by authors like Janet Evanovich, Sarah Dessen, Jennifer Weiner, Sophie Kinsella, and Candace Bushnell continue to sell so well! These women write books with strong female characters who have heart, and with whom all readers can identify. So the problem obviously isn’t with the genre: it’s with people who dismiss it based on what it’s called.

My favorite author quote ever is:

“Write about the idea that bites you like a shark, and won’t let go until you write the whole story down.”

(I hate that I can’t remember who said this, or even the exact quote. But I read it in the Author’s Guild Bulletin, one of the best publications ever!)

Particular genres come and go. But the idea that originally bit you always stays the same. And you never know—nor does anyone else in publishing, including all those people who say “such and such genre is dead”—what’s going to be the next “big one” . . . the next big idea that captures everyone’s imagination, and swallows the reading public whole.

So if you feel like there’s a “chick lit prejudice” out there, just say, “My book is about a strong female character with heart, with whom readers will identify, because she . . . ” blah blah whatever it is she does that makes her such a strong individual.

Like Nora Roberts said in her keynote, writing is hard! It’s supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it, and everyone would be a bestselling author.

So ride the hard! The hard is what makes it so worth it in the end.

One of my favorite stories is one I heard a famous actress tell on a talk show. It was about her first ever acting class, and how the teacher announced the first day, “I’m sorry, but statistically, only one of you is going to make it in this business. That’s just how it is. Only one in one hundred ever do.”

The actress looked around at the ninety-nine other kids in her class and felt an overwhelming sense of of sadness for them. Because of course she knew they were the ninety-nine ones who weren’t going to make it. It never occurred to her that SHE might be one of the ninety-nine.

And because that was her attitude, she was right!

I can’t remember who the actress was (I know, this totally ruins the story), but she was someone totally famous, so I’m just going to say it was Julia Roberts.

Like Julia in this movie, I’ve been looking for things at which to marvel lately.

THIS THE ATTITUDE YOU HAVE TO HAVE as a writer. Not snobby. Not superior. Not inflexible, like “My story is so great, I’m not going to change a word.” You just have to have complete, blinding faith in yourself (while also having sympathy and compassion for others).

Because no one else is going to believe in you. It’s just you and all those idea sharks biting you. Never stop writing until they let go.

From Harry Potter World

OK, so, when we last left off, my passport had been stolen at Disneyworld, the most magical place on earth, and I was freaking out because how was I ever going to get back on a plane to come home to Key West (or to NYC, my next destination) without a valid form of photo ID?

Well, guess what? You don’t need ID to ride on planes! The FAA says you can show any old piece of photo ID, expired for up to a year, to get on board. They don’t care. Just so long as you don’t have any bombs in your panties.

I was so distracted by all this, I forgot to post that they released the stills for the movie of my book, Avalon High, that’s coming out this fall on Disney Channel. Click here to see them!

(Sorry, I couldn’t get them to fit on the page. And yes! Allie (Britt Robertson) is blonde! And her name really is Allie, not Ellie! But I promise there’s a good reason why (and that you’re going to love it). You’ll find out when you see the movie.)

But wait, there’s more:

Because the new Mediator bind-up is out today in the UK!

And because you guys here in the States were so vocal about how unfair it was that the UK is getting reissues of the Mediator (same books, new covers), WE’RE GETTING THEM TOO! No covers to show yet, but they’re coming soon.

Oh, and in the middle of all of this? I got emailed the script for the Mediator movie!

That’s right.

THE. MEDIATOR. MOVIE.

I know, right. Seriously. I’ve been finding little things at which to marvel! How much excitement can a girl take?

(This is a picture from Eat, Pray, Love not the Mediator movie. Filming hasn’t started shooting on that yet! I just like looking at Julia.)

Oh, and then this very cute librarian-to-be wrote to let me know that in one of the scenes of the new Ramona and Beezus move, Selena Gomez is reading my book Airhead!

EMOTICON! (As Aziz Ansari would put it). Go see Ramona and Beezus now!

Honestly, when I got to NYC I had to spend a whole day in bed eating M&Ms and watching TV, hoping the spinning would slow down (it didn’t work).

I mean, I met about a zillion authors I’ve always wanted to meet (and some totally cute new ones, like Erica Ridley) in Orlando! I got to hold Simone Elkeles’s RITA (she wrote Perfect Chemistry—you remember, I blogged about her awesome musical book trailer for it. She won for Best YA Romance).

And I got to hold BOTH of Julia Quinn’s RITAs! She won TWO (one for getting into the RWA Hall of Fame)!

PS Ritas are very heavy. I think they would make good weapons for Colonel Mustard to kill Mrs. Peacock in the library.

I’ve had to depend on the kindness of strangers (mainly the kindness of readers who’ve scrolled through other writers’ Twitter and Facebook accounts and sent me links!) though to send me their photos from last week because I totally forgot to take any pictures (although I DID remember my camera. Just not to put it in my purse).

So that’s how I got sent this funny photo from writer Liza Palmer’s Twitter of me taking someone else’s photo (that’s writer Ally Carter in the background!). I’m sad I didn’t get to meet Liza Palmer. Both she and Ally Carter (and Megan Crane!) also write strong funny female characters with heart (with whom we can all identify)!

Oh, and the Avon Romance Blog has tons of cute pictures (and updates from the conference)! Like me in this dress, which wins for Dress Most People Asked “Where Did You Get That Dress?”

(One lady asked, “You aren’t wearing that dress tonight, are you? Because I was planning on wearing that dress tonight!” I’m telling you, this dress is the bomb).

Get the best dress ever at Anthropologie. It’s called the Traced Twirls Dress and it’s on sale for $158! It looks good on everyone, especially writers.

There were so many funny moments I didn’t get pictures of that I wish I had! Like this one:

Reader Diana sent me this photo of HarperCollins publicist Christine, me, Julia Quinn, my editor Carrie Feron, editor Lyssa Keusch, and Susan Elizabeth Phillips (I have no idea why I don’t have a tiara and everyone else does) at the Avon Books party. Susan Elizabeth Phillips, in case you were wondering, is as nice as her books! (Really! And she also writes strong female characters with heart!)

(Avon Books is a division of HarperCollins, which publishes my adult books, and which generously donated a copy of my new book Insatiable to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who attended the RWA conference! SO NICE OF THEM! Although so many people came up to me and were like, “Is this YA? Because I want to give it to my niece” after a while I was like, “Sure, why not! The sex is more, um, implied.”)

Everyone was so nice and it was fantastic to meet so many authors whose books I’ve admired for so long (or that I’ve written with, but never met), like Diana Peterfreund, who has a story coming out this fall in the anthology Zombies vs. Unicorns, just like I do!

Sometimes people assume when authors contribute to the same anthology, we all meet in a room during a long weekend and write it together, but this isn’t true. I’ve never met most of the authors in any of the anthologies I’ve contributed to (except RL Stine, for this one coming out next month)!

But thanks to RWA, I now know Rosemary Clement-Moore, who writes the fun “Hell” series, the first one of which “Prom Date From Hell” came out at the same time as “Prom Nights from Hell” (No relation. Just coincidence)!

It turns out there’s a whole chapter of RWA just for YA writers now (yeah, OK, so I’ve been a little out of touch. I live closer to Cuba than I do mainland US! But I realize this is no excuse).

Here is a picture of me with Vanessa Barneveld. She’s also in YARWA. Vanessa was one of the Golden Heart finalists for YA romance. Because I was the presenter of the Golden Heart award for YA romance, I had to practice saying her name (and all the finalists’ names) fifty times. Hers was especially hard though because she says it with an Australian accent, so I had to make a mental note not to say “Vahnessah Bahnehvehld” like she does when I read her name off the teleprompter:

The Golden Heart is the most prestigious romance writing award given for a manuscript that’s yet to be published. Erica O’Rourke won for the category for which I presented, for her book, Unchosen (except it did get chosen)! I hope we’ll be seeing works by Erica (and ALL the Golden Heart finalists!!!) in stores soon!

The Golden Heart finalists’ acceptance speeches during the awards ceremony totally gave me something at which to marvel (like Julia wants in EPL), by the way.

Because there’s something so inspiring about someone who’s been working for so long for the sheer joy of it, and who’s finally getting some recognition for that work!

(PS I would be a professional presenter if this were a real job. You just get to read the names of the finalists off a teleprompter, then hug the person when she comes up, give her her award, then escort her off the stage after her speech is done, all while wearing nice shoes! Seriously, it was SO FUN.)

Author Tera Lynn Childs presented Best First Book. She has a new book, Forgive My Fins, which has what I personally think is one of the prettiest covers I’ve seen in a while:

(I got a sneak peek at this book, and it’s delicious, like sushi.)

And I’ve decided author Margaret Carroll should have been presented an award for Author Who Seems Most Unlike Her Books: Her Rita-nominated book, A Dark Love, was named by Publishers Weekly as one of the top five mass-fiction titles of 2009! I sat by her on the bus to the Avon Romance party, and she seemed totally normal . . . but it turns out she writes completely creepy stuff! I love meeting people like that.

But I met so many authors like that! I was marveling ALL NIGHT, it seemed. And if I sat here and tried to list them all, I would be here all day. So maybe it’s best to move on to Harry Potter World now:

This is Pam Jaffee, Tavia, me, Wendy, Christine, and Seale. They all work in publicity at Harper. And by “work” I mean they were the ones who put together all the signings and everything for all the Avon authors during RWA, and who also have to deal with me on a regular basis when I need bailing out of one jam or another (as did the RWA staff, who were SO amazing). So it was so nice of them to let me tag along with them to Harry Potter World!

When you walk into Universal, they jump out at you and make you point at nothing on the ground, then later put a dinosaur there and make you buy the picture (well, they don’t MAKE you buy it, but you want to. I wish they had put a big butterbeer there instead, though).

To get to Harry Potter, you have to walk through about a hundred miles of other parks through the sizzling heat. Dr. Seuss is one of them, or, as I like to call it, Hell on Earth because they play this creepy music that sounds like something the nanny would play as she’s stealing your husband and making your baby hate you while you’re at work.

(Dr. Seuss is where Christine suddenly asked, “What’s a muggle?” Yes! She had never read the books, or seen the movies! After we found this out, we beat her up and stuffed her in one of the cups on the Hop on Pop ride.)

Hogsmeade!

Don’t let the fake snow fool you! It was still hot!

There are only three rides in Harry Potter land, one or the other of which is broken down at any given time due to constant use. When we were there, the broken one was the one that goes upside down so that was okay because I don’t go upside down having once looked at myself in a mirror this way.

(Try it sometime. You’ll see why hanging upside down is a bad idea for ladies after a certain age.)

Me with Sirius Black! (This was broken. But they fixed it later. It’s supposed to show Sirius Black but Seale suggested it would be better if you could stick your own head through it. TRUTH).

We ate in the Three Broomsticks and the food was really, really good, even for someone who has to eat gluten free. The frozen butter beer was AMAZINGLY good.

I thought the atmosphere in the place was exactly the way it was described in the books. It even SMELLED nice, like a wood-burning fireplace.

I found this picture on the Internet. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to be of, but it isn’t the restaurant I went to. There were no midgets dressed as pirates when I was there. Sadly.

The funny part about Harry Potter World is that a lot of families try to bring their own food into the restaurants in giant coolers and sit down to eat there without ordering anything like it’s a picnic facility. I am not familiar with this dining tradition but at Harry Potter World it appears to be very common. When this happens, Dobby chases them out, screaming and hitting them with a stick.

OK, not really. But they did make these families leave.

Ollivanders! Inside the shop there is even fake dust!

(The line to get into Ollivanders is a zillion hours long because there’s a little show inside. Only ten people are let in at a time. A child is picked to “get” a wand and the funny part is, the kids totally think the show is “real.” It is SO CUTE. Afterwards you can go into the post office and the wandshop to send postcards marked “Hogswarts” to friends and buy your own wands. TOTALLY worth the wait).

Honeydukes! The candy packaging is so cute and nice. But the candy will melt the minute you get it outside. Totally worth the wait though.

HINT: You can get most of the candy at the Universal store on your way out of the park.

All the shops were just great, even the shops that are permanently “closed” (you peek in the windows and things are happening inside.)

Gilderoy Lockhart!

Hogwarts!

The Forbidden Journey ride is the one inside Hogwarts. I’d heard incredible things about this ride, like that it was a total breakthrough in “ride technology.” Basically, I yearned to marvel at it. I expected it to be the Avatar of rides.

During the 105 minute wait in the blinding sun, signs along the way remind you that you must remove your prosthetic limbs (NOT A JOKE) to go on this ride (they provide lockers with cool fingerprint technology to put your spare limbs and change in).

Which begs the question, if you only have one leg, do you hop the rest of the way down the line to get to the ride? I do not know.

I got very worried because of the signs that this ride might go upside down, but they assured me it didn’t.

If you do not want spoilers about what you see inside Hogwarts on the Forbidden Journey ride, SKIP THIS PART.

OK, it was no Avatar (by which I mean, the film parts of it were not even in high def, let alone three-D).

First, here is what I did NOT see on the Forbidden Journey, which are the things I was expecting (hoping) to see:

Grand Staircase
Great Hall (with Floating Candles)
Gryffindor Common Room

I know! I’m such a girl. I wanted to see all the romantic parts, not the scary parts. I wanted to be asked for the password to be let into the Gryffindor common room. Don’t hold your breath for this.

Instead you are strapped into a movie theater seat (which is wet from the person before you, I assumed because he had wet his pants with terror, but no, it was for another reason), and Hermione is a disembodied head urging you to hurry!

One funny part was that the teen strapping me into my seat gave himself the sign of the cross and told me he hoped I’d make it and that not many do. So, I thought that was funny considering the kid I was sitting beside was four and I doubted she’d appreciate the irony.

Harry and Ron are flying on brooms on the screen in front of you, while the seat you’re in shakes and lifts up, and things are projected above and below you (but not in High-def, so to me it looked fuzzy and out of focus, and I assure you my vision is fine except for reading), and then sometimes “real” things, such as dragons and spiders and death eaters, come at you.

Then they spit fog, steam, or “venom” at you. This is why the seat is wet.

I will say that all the kids and teenage boys I saw LOVED this ride. The girl who got her glasses broken when some of the spit hit her in the face? Not so much. And Harry Potter land would not reimburse her because the sign said to remove your glasses (only then how are you supposed to see the not-in-high-def quality film? This, like the prosthetic limb question, was not answered to my satisfaction).

I went in the “single riders” line because I heard it was faster, so I didn’t see a lot of things I heard other people saw in their lines before the ride, such as Dumbledore’s office, the choir with the singing frogs, etc. I saw three moving paintings and the sorting hat in small rooms along the line before the ride. The sorting hat didn’t sort me, however. It, like the paintings, warned me to keep my arms inside the ride and not to go on the ride if I was pregnant.

I did briefly fly over a Quidditch field (on film) and into Hogwarts (on film) at the end of the ride (on film).

Maybe when I went on it, the High Def function of the ride was broken, or something? I don’t know.

At the end of the ride I was let out into a shop where I could buy all sorts of cool stuff, including a copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone for Christine, so she could find out what a muggle is. This made me happy! Also, I was happy never to have gone upside down, and that the spitting was over, and that the four year old hadn’t cried.

Anyway, that is all. I just would have liked to have flown through the Great Hall, seen the Grand Staircases, and gone into the Gryffindor common room. Maybe they’ll add these features later? I hope so!

Because as a reader who LOVED these parts of the books, these are the things I wanted to see most (is it too much to ask for some kissing? I MEAN IT’S A MOVIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD). And the castle is so huge for the outside! What’s in the rest of it? I’m hoping these parts are being added on (maybe not the kissing, but the Great Hall and moving staircases, at LEAST).

END OF SPOILERS.

When night falls in Hogsmeade, the enchantment begins!

OK, so Harry Potter may not have provided me with all that I wished to marvel.

But then after I flew to NYC, I got to present my new book, Abandon (coming in May/June 2010!) to Scholastic (sorry, no hints. But it’s way dark! It does involve the Underworld, after all).

And they presented ME with my new cover. And it’s amazing! I wish I could show it to you. But you’ll see it soon enough. I got to have all this input for it, and my main comment was, “No! She needs to look more dead!” and “More dirt!” if that gives you any indication. Only later did it occur to me that the poor model had to roll around in dirt. So I feel bad now.

To celebrate, I went to see the movie Winter’s Bone (super good. Basically, 17 yr old Ree wants to find her daddy, even though everyone warns her, “Girl, you don’t want to find your daddy”), and on my way to the theater, you’ll never guess who I ran into, because it turns out she lives in my neighborhood:

Yes! Christine! And look who she brought home with her from Disneyworld. You guys, you shouldn’t judge. Christine may never have read Harry Potter, but I think these two crazy kids are going to make it!

Then He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog got a call from his best friend since kindergarten (he was the one who had to run from the dust cloud with his whole family during 9/11 and ended up at our old place on 12th St with everyone from HWSNBNITB’s office, which was across the street from the Twin Towers). David works in the music business and is friends with someone VERY NICE who got some VIP passes (like sixth row seats. And access to the green room! Yes. Hate me now) to Arcade Fire at Madison Square Garden on August 5 (the show Terry Gilliam directed and was live-streamed on YouTube).

He was all, “Do you want to go?” and I was all, “Why not?” So we were in the green room when someone asked, “Is Spoon over yet? Maybe we should get our seats.”

Me: “WHAT??? SPOON????” I love Spoon. Like, LOVE them.

Of course Spoon opened for Arcade Fire and was done playing by the time I rushed out to our seats. I was in total despair, like, “I am never going to get to marvel at anything again.”

But you know what? I was wrong.

Because when Arcade Fire came out, they were so awesome, you just couldn’t help, well . . . marveling! They were just so excited to be there. You could feel it in the air!

And their fans were SO EXCITED to see them there (especially the ones who stole our seats because we weren’t in them for Spoon and they figured we weren’t coming. They were HUGE Arcade Fire fans. But there was plenty of room for all of us. And we did suck for having missed Spoon)!

And everyone on the floor knew all the words to all their songs (just like I knew all the words to all the Spoon songs), and they were singing along and jumping up and down and crowd surfing, and it was just . . . just . . . MARVELOUS!

And then there was Regine! She whipped out an accordion! And played keyboards! And sang! And danced! IN THIS GOLD DRESS!

And she obviously had so much heart, and I identified with her so strongly! I wanted to BE HER!

These guys totally played their guts out.

And one of them threw all the tambourines out to the crowd.

And at the end, two gigantic canons shot confetti at everyone!

And it was one of the best shows I’ve ever been to, if not the best ever.

And then He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog went home and bought all their music (on vinyl AND CD, because of course he has a turntable and forces me to listen to his old records from the 70s all the time. But I won’t mind listening to Arcade Fire on vinyl even though I already bought them on iTunes).

OK, that is all. I am NEVER going to wait this long to blog again! Now that I am home I am going to keep this thing updated faithfully EVERY DAY even though Flickr changed all their settings and I don’t understand them.

I SWEAR!

And now I have to go write more books about strong female characters with heart.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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Reviews

This past weekend He Who Shall Not Be Not Named In This Blog found out his father has to have open heart surgery.

Then the US got knocked out of the World Cup (but congrats, Brazil)!

Then I couldn’t remember where I was when Michael Jackson died, and everyone on the news kept saying NO ONE could forget where they were on this historic day one year ago.

But I did.

So all that left me feeling very overwhelmed and a little blue.

And okay . . . opening my copy of Us Weekly and seeing myself in it (although sadly not on the “Celebs! They’re Just Like Us!” page) was a very nice lift.

OK, I’m not really in it. INSATIABLE is though.

And waking up this morning to see INSATIABLE chosen as a one of Summer’s Hottest Page Turner’s by the Early Show on CBS rocked. John Searles is officially one of my favorite people in the world right now.

Still, when you find yourself with a bad case of the blahs, it can be hard to rally.

I knew exactly what I needed. The fakeness of a Hollywood blockbuster, preferably with explosions! But no one wanted to go to the movies with me this weekend. Why?

The reviews.

It seems like these days a lot of critics are more interested in outsnarking each other than in remembering that some people just want to go to the movies and have fun.

Only the kid movies that have opened this summer have gotten semi-decent reviews, and no one without kids will go see a kid movie with me.

(Which I don’t understand. There’s nothing wrong with going to see a kid movie, such as Toy Story 3, even when you yourself don’t have a kid. Just don’t sit near a kid, so his parents don’t think you’re there to kidnap him.

Although considering the way some kids behave at the movies these days, I’ve had a number of parents look at me desperately, like, “Please, lady . . . abduct my kid. I’m begging you. I don’t want it anymore.” Sorry, no dice. At least my cats know to go number two in their litter box, not on the seat.)

But the adult movies have all gotten horrible reviews. To which I say: Who cares?

If I still listened to reviews, not only would I have driven a stake through my own heart a long time ago, I’d have missed out on some of my favorite movies of all time! Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion? Empire Records? Super Troopers? Grandma’s Boy? These are all cult favorites that got panned by reviewers at the time of their release.

Here is what I know about reviews:

All of my friends who work in the hospitality business in both New York and Key West say that at least 50%, if not more, of the reviews on places like Tripadvisor are actually written by people who either work at that hotel or restaurant, or at a rival establishment.

At first I was shocked when I found that out. Now I’m addicted to the Tripadvisor review wars.

And we know from the great Amazon Canada Review Glitch of 2004 that many reviews on Amazon are actually written by rival authors (or the authors themselves).

Really, how can you not love this?

That said, I cheered myself up this weekend by watching Semi-Pro starring Will Ferrell, which I’d never seen because He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog has an absurd Will Ferrell prejudice.

(Yes. He’s obviously just jealous, because whenever I turn on anything starring Will Ferrell, HWSNBNITB comes slinking into the room, “just to get something.”

“I’m not watching this,” he’ll declare. “I just need to something.” AND YET HE NEVER LEAVES UNTIL THE MOVIE IS OVER.)

That’s because Will Ferrell was sent down to us by Heaven on a very special mission . . . maybe not quite like Mother Theresa, but sort of, considering all the work Will does for Cancer For College, an organization a fraternity brother of his founded that helps pay college tuition for kids who can’t afford it because their parents had to spend all their money on the kid’s cancer treatments.

Every time I’m a little down and one of Will’s comedies, like Talladega Nights or Stepbrothers or Land of the Lost or Semi-Pro or Anchor Man comes on, it cheers me right up. It’s like being touched by a chubby, silly, hairy, dirty little angel who uses the F word and then screams like a girl and rolls around in the dirt.

I know it’s kind of weird. But in the end, you have to admit you liked it.

But if I’d ever actually believed any of the reviews of Will’s movies, I’d never have watched any of them! And then my life would be bereft in so many ways. I’d have missed the bunk bed scene from Step Brothers (if you’ve ever had little brothers, you’ve experienced the “We’ll get so many more activities done with all the extra room!” speech. In fact I believe I once did this with a friend, with similar results.)

And I wouldn’t ever have seen this, considered (by movie goers of taste) one of the most inspiring and moving musical numbers of all time.

So, this is why I try always to ignore the snark and judge things for myself. It’s why I don’t care about the reviews, and want to see Liam “Release The Kraken” Neeson in The A-Team anyway. It’s why I don’t care how big EW says Cameron Diaz’s head looks in Knight and Day.

It’s also why I think we should make a special Oscar category for Best Review. Not the snarky or needlessly mean reviews, but the review that actually makes you want to go see a film.

And for that I would like to nominate this review, which I found on the IMDB page for the movie Wide Sargasso Sea, which I accidentally watched one night when there was absolutely nothing else on.

In case you don’t know, Wide Sargasso Sea is the “prequel” to Jane Eyre. Wide Sargasso Sea was not written by Charlotte Bronte. I have not read the book.

But I defy anyone not to want to see the movie AT LEAST A LITTLE after reading this review:

Wide Sargasso Sea

We watched this in school, my English teacher had no idea why it would be rated R so we just watched it. It was funny because there was so much nudity and sex and stuff. It was great. It got to the point where she had to run up and cover the screen grade school style and I got a kick out of it. Sex is funny! I have nothing against nudity if it’s done right, this is just there for lonely boys … well, anyway. We watched the movie and it’s slow and I really hated “Jane Eyre” so I didn’t like this one much either. If you’re a fan of nudity (all kinds featured here) check it out!

Now THAT is a review.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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Insatiable Book Trailer/PW Review

I can’t believe it’s less than three weeks until Insatiable comes out! I’m super excited about it.

Because in times like these—when volcanic ash is spewing all over one part of the world, and oil is gushing up from the ocean in another, and we’re apparently going to be without new episodes of Law and Order (at least, the non-SVU kind) for the first time in 20 years—what we need is fun, pure and simple.

And what’s more fun than a super hilarious spoof of your own book, in book trailer form?

Book trailers are a new (and sadly mostly ignored by the mainstream media) art form.

This is just wrong! Because there are so many ultra terrific book trailers out there (not many of us can get Zack Galifianakis to pose as ourselves in our own book trailers, though we all wish we could), along with some excellently dopey ones (what is wrong with this author?).

With this first book trailer for Insatiable, we (me, filmmaker Brady Hall, and the Harper Team) hoped to meld the super dopey with the ultra terrific, and come up with a new genre of book trailer:

The Super Ultra Excellently Terrific Book Trailer.

Personally, I think we succeeded.

Stay tuned for our next attempt, along with a post about The Behind The Scenes Making of The Insatiable Trailer (in which I Am Tackled a Million Times and People Spit on Me), coming soon, which will include clips such as:

Padding. That is padding he is looking at. On my butt. To protect it. What did you think was going on here???

OMG.

OK, that actually didn’t feel so bad.

This would SO never happen to Nicholas Sparks.

OK.

But wait:

It gets even better! Here’s the Publishers Weekly review (of the book. Not the trailer. Publishers Weekly isn’t reviewing book trailers. Yet)!

Insatiable 
Meg Cabot, Morrow, $22.99 (464p) ISBN 978-0-06-173506-6 


Cabot (Princess Diaries) winningly applies her trademark likably fallible protagonists and breezy storytelling to a vampire war in New York City. TV writer Meena Harper creates fabulous plots for Insatiable, the second-highest–rated soap opera, thanks to her burdensome if lucrative psychic ability to see into the future and determine how people are going to die. And just as Insatiable is switching to a vampire theme to attract a younger demographic, a spate of chilling murders-by-exsanguination grips New York City. Enter Lucien Antonescu, a sexy, melancholic Romanian history professor/vampire who recognizes that the murders are the work of rogue vampires who have broken away from his order. (Lucien happens to be the son of Vlad the Impaler, whom Bram Stoker gave such a bad rep.) Lucien’s opposition: Alaric Wulf, a sympathetic detective from the Palatine Guard, who hopes to use Meena and her prophetic gift to stop the murders and track down Lucien. Unfortunately for Alaric, Meena is a little in love with Lucien. Cabot is less concerned with creating a convincing family tree for Lucien than with creating sparks between her characters, who feel pleasantly natural even as they live alongside the vampires next door. (June)

Whenever I hear the word “breezy,” I always think of Monica from Friends, and that episode where she leaves the message on Tom Selleck’s answering machine, trying to sound “breezy.” But she ruins it by actually saying:


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I love Monica. Therefore, anytime anyone describes anything I do as “breezy,” I consider it a win. So, BIG HUG, PW.

Although honestly Insatiable took me more than a year of staying up until 3AM to write, with my husband yelling, “It’s THREE IN THE MORNING!”

So there was nothing breezy about actually writing it, I can assure you. But once I got the idea for it, I was possessed. True, my editor is the one who suggested I write a vampire novel. But at the time, I said, “No way!”

Then this dog came into my life, and changed everything.

Find out how here. The ideas wouldn’t stop flowing and . . . well, there I was, at 3AM. For a year.

Stupid dog. More on him later, too.

(For regular readers of this blog: I apologize for not telling you about the dog. There are many things I can’t talk about with you here, either because people close to me don’t want me to, or because they’re just too upsetting to me. The dog fell into the latter category. I try to keep this blog a happy place, not just for you, but for me. So the fact that I’m finally letting you in about the dog now should tell you something: his story ended up with a Happily Ever After. Stay tuned for it.)

Anyway, we’re gearing up for Insatiable’s release by reading Dracula! Yes! You can join our discussion group right here! Win prizes for your insightful vampire-knowledge . . . but most of all, enjoy one of the dishiest, most romantic, creepiest classics ever . . . get Draculed!

Official Slogan of the Dracul, not to be transferred or used for any other purpose than Pure Evil

Finally, congratulations to “M”, who bid over $600 for a signed copy of the Insatiable ARC (I also threw in the first official copy, hot off the press!), as well as Vampire Ken (who’ll play one of the main characters from the book in a future book trailer) at the auction for Do The Write Thing For Nashville.

I had no idea who “M” was. I was sort of suspecting she was my mother.

So you can imagine my surprise (and relief) when “M” contacted me after the auction was over with her mailing address, and I found out I don’t know her at all! She’s actually one of the many extraordinarily generous and kind people who came out to help raise money for TN flood victims.

(I couldn’t believe it when I overslept and lost in my own bidding war for Rachel Vail’s Brilliant! But then I remembered I could donate directly! And pre-order a copy of Brilliant! So I did both!)

So, thank you, “M”! People like you (and all of you who created Do The Write Thing, and donated money, time, and goods to it!) are what’s helping to make this world a better place in its time of greatest need (floods, volcanoes, oil spills, no more Law and Order, etc).

You, and fun new book trailers of course!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go try to get HWSNBNITB to tackle me. It’s actually quite fun (you don’t even need padding if you do it on a bed)!

Uh, that came out wrong. Well, you know what I mean.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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Blooper Video/Author’s Guild/Princess Mia

People often ask, “How do you come up with your book trailers?”

I thought a look behind the scenes might give you a few hints.

Check out my book trailer blooper reel!

As you can see, book trailers are a team effort, with me mostly messing things up (see all the Runaway book trailers here).

Anyway, I’m home now, finally, recovering from what I’m convinced was food poisoning, and someone just called with this great news:

Scott Turow Elected President of the Authors Guild

The lawyer and the queen of teenage lit are in the house!

Scott Turow, the author of “Presumed Innocent” and the coming sequel, “Innocent,” has been elected president of the Authors Guild, a trade group that represents writers, and Judy Blume, the author of the perennial favorites “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret” and “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing,” has been elected vice president.

The guild also elected the authors Meg Cabot, Michelle Richmond and T.J. Stiles to its executive council.

Yes, it’s true!

So now instead of just sitting around complaining when I’m upset about something book-and-publishing-related, I’m actually going to be one of the people helping to do something about it (or trying to, anyway)! I’m so excited!

(PS Have you noticed that BN.com no longer has links up to Common Sense Media reviews?)

(Edited May 2: Aaand now the links are back. Interesting.)

I wish I could do something about this oil spill in the Gulf, too.

I’m very worried about our sweet pod of friendly dolphins, our silly pelicans, our manatees, and my friend Captain Bob, who makes his living spear fishing for all our local restaurants here in Key West.

“Drill, baby, drill” doesn’t sound very catchy anymore, does it?

I guess that’s one reason why writers write books: to help people escape their own worries, at least for a few hours (I know that’s why I’m SO glad my copy of the new Precious Ramotswe mystery arrived today).

If you need to read something to get away from YOUR troubles, don’t forget that in addition to Runaway here in the US, the new Mediator double-editions are out in the UK territories.

Mediator 1 and 2

Mediator 3 and 4

Mediator 5 and 6

And tomorrow, May 1, is a very special day:

HRH Princess Mia Thermopolis’s birthday!

Be sure to check Mia’s blog for a special birthday update . . .

. . . like maybe the lyrics to Lana Weinberger’s new hit single, guaranteed to make even a reluctant princess forget her troubles.

More Later.

Much love,

Meg

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Runaway: Win The Book! See The Video! Check Out The Tour!

In my new book, Runaway, Em Watts is on the run from people who want her out of the way . . . permanently.

I feel a bit like I’m on the run myself right now (not from people who want to kill me, so much as from bronchitis), there’s so much going on!

But it’s all good (well, except for the hacking cough and runny nose).

First of all, the blog tour for Runaway begins tomorrow! I know, I totally can’t believe it myself, since the book doesn’t come out until April 20. But that’s actually pretty soon!

I’ll be cyber-visiting these amazing sites (I can’t thank them enough for hosting me. Be sure to stop by to say hi!):

March 31: The Story Siren
April 2: My Friend Amy
April 6: Teen Fashionista
April 8: Luxury Reading
April 12: Pop Culture Junkie
April 14: Bermuda Onion
April 16: Trashionista
April 19: Novelicious
April 21: The Compulsive Reader

Obviously, I’m going to be really tired after all that jet-setting around cyber space.

But guess what? It doesn’t end there!

Because on April 22, we’re going to have a super huge blow-out Twitter Party, hosted by The Book Smugglers!

Why should you stop by and visit these sites? Well, besides the fact that they rock, all of them will be giving away Runaway tidbits (not spoilers, I hope!), like reviews, T-shirts, copies of the book, and—at the Twitter party on April 22—an iPad (I know, I was like, “Where’s mine?”)

Potential quotes from Runaway that could end up on the T-shirt:

“You know your Lamborghini is on fire, right?”

“What you’re experiencing right now is called Stockholm syndrome.”

“So according to the tabloids, I’m on a secret love getaway . . . .”

“Love. Revenge. Profit.”

“Pretty is a patriarchal archetype.”

On the 22, I’ll be in Los Angeles for the LA Times Book Festival (where I plan to go Big Pimpin’ with my homegirls, just to annoy Demi Moore). So don’t miss my in-person tour stops! More details to come soon!

Secondly, I’ll be giving away advanced reader copies of Runaway myself all week, every week, until the book’s release via my contest, Twitter, and Facebook pages. Click on the links below to look for ways to register to win!

Meg’s Facebook page

Meg’s Twitter

Meg’s Contest Page

(PS if you haven’t already, sign up to belong to the Airhead Facebook page.)

Finally, have you seen the new Stark Corporate videos about Project Phoenix?

Wait, you didn’t know Stark hired me as their new spokesperson? Well, now you do:

Just wait until the NEXT Stark Corporate video (it will be up on my YouTube channel next week)! It’s going to blow your mind.

OK, I have to go Tussin up now in preparation for the start of the big tour tomorrow. Although you may not believe this, I swear no Tussin was consumed in the making of the video above.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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Movie News: Avalon High and The Mediator

As we gear up for Oscar night (I’ve seen 8 of the 10 Best Picture nominees, and am about to see #9! How about you? Best Movie Ever, Oscar Edition, coming to this blog soon!), I just got movie news of my very own. Read it here first…

(…or not because it was already in Variety….)

Avalon High–Scheduled for a late fall 2010 premiere, this Disney Channel Original Movie, based on the popular novel by Meg Cabot, follows Allie who, after transferring to Avalon High, is shocked to discover that her new classmates are reincarnations of King Arthur and his Court. The deeper Allie searches these interesting parallels between the past and the present, the more sure she is that her school is a contemporary Camelot, and it’s up to her to solve the mystery before the notorious traitor Mordred wins again.

I know, I know. They changed Ellie’s name to Allie. Or maybe that’s a misprint. Who knows? I won’t tell you about the other major change they’re making, because trust me, you’re going to love it.

(And no, it’s not that it’s a musical. But I am BEGGING for that, because Will and Marco, fight-dancing? No, YOU shut up.)

So who will star in the film version of this 2010 Abe Lincoln Award Nominee? No clue!

If I hear any casting news, I’ll let you know (and yes, gazillions of aspiring actresses who write to me, I’ll try to let you know about auditions, but you’re much better off checking with your agent or Variety every day, not me. I’m not attached to this production in any way–see above re: begging for fight-dancing–so I have NO say in casting).

In other news, have you seen the new look my British publisher is giving the Mediator books?

Gorgeous. These books won’t be available until summer, but I can’t wait.

The Mediator movie news is that it’s STILL ON! So keep your fingers crossed!

(And for those of you who keep sending me Mediator scripts, thanks very much, but we have a scriptwriter. Although of course continue to write your own scripts for fun if you want to!)

Well, that’s all the Meg Cabot movie news! Stay tuned for a Best Movie Of All Time Oscar Edition post.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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Thanks, Olympics

Dear Olympics,

Now that our relationship is coming to an end, I just want to thank you.

I will admit that things got off to a rocky start between us. All I really knew about you at first was that you were going to pre-empt a lot of my favorite shows (30 Rock, Mercy, etc), which was irritating.

Plus, there was that whole luge thing.

So yes, things were tense between us there for a while.

See, I’m not super into sports. I grew up in basketball country with a brother who is six foot eight inches tall.

Let me translate for those of you who only speak geek:

That’s like living in the middle of a Quidditch field with a sibling who was born with a flying broom coming out of his butt.

For a while growing up, I thought the only way I’d ever get any attention was to play basketball myself. I tried out and actually got on the girl’s team! I was super excited to be cast (is that the right word?) as a forward.

To me, being a forward meant looming over the person I was guarding (I’ve been 5’8” since 6th grade) and not letting her get the ball (that’s what the coach told me to do), while also trying to chat her up about French braiding (Coach didn’t mention this as a necessary part of the job, but I’m naturally outgoing).

I once overheard my coach bemoaning the fact that “Cabot would be good if she’d only hustle.” I took this as a major compliment.

It wasn’t until we played our first game that I found out the coach had not actually meant it as a compliment, and also how important it was to WIN!

My teammates were all about WINNING! They were NOT interested in discussing French braiding with our opponents, but in snapping the backs of their bras and elbowing them repeatedly in the solar plexus.

I was so horrified, I quit on the spot and never played competitive sports again. I did not want to WIN if WINNING meant behaving like a nasty little butt monkey.

I thought I’d escaped competitive sports forever when I moved to New York City. But I was wrong.

I’m now married to the world’s biggest Indiana basketball fan. Sigh.

That’s OK, though. To misquote U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens on FX’s new show Justified, people are entitled to their hobbies.

Just I am entitled to make my own money so I can buy my own television and put it in another room so I can change the channel and not see other people doing their hobbies, such as competitive sports.

Which brings me to this:

Without you, Olympics, I would never have discovered that not all athletes behave like those little hooligans on my middle school basketball team.

I was super moved by the brave performance of Joannie Rochette, that Canadian skater whose mom died of a heart attack when she arrived in Vancouver.

And watching Julia Mancuso become the most-medaled women’s American Olympic skier ever was amazing!

It’s always heart-warming to see someone achieve a life-long dream after years of hard work and training (and, probably, hustling).

(And did I mention all those funny new shows that I normally wouldn’t have watched, like The Middle and Modern Family, which I discovered while changing the channel in order to avoid watching the Olympics whenever it was showing men’s sports which, really, I can’t relate to, and no, I won’t apologize for that? My mom always said Modern Family is amazing, but I just never got a chance to watch it before now. So yay!)

So, thank you, Olympics, for everything. You rock. I’m sorry I ever doubted you.

And I bet you’re a way awesome French braider, too.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

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Sometimes, Bad Can Be Good

This past week He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog has been passing a bunch of kidney stones.

He already has a broken ankle.

So, living with him has been a little bit like living with one of those monkeys at the zoo. You know, the ones who look all cute and cuddly at first? But then when you get up close to the cage to take their picture…

…they throw their own poop at you.

That’s why updates to this blog have been a bit sporadic lately.

But it hasn’t been all bad:

Because at night after I’ve tucked him safely into bed, I’ve been watching some majorly bad TV movies. Like, so bad, they’re almost kind of good.

You think you have problems? Like your life is spinning out of control?

You obviously haven’t seen Kirstie Alley’s made-for-TV movie Family Sins.

This may just be the best bad movie ever made. I seriously can’t believe Kirstie Alley didn’t get an Emmy for this. She was totally robbed.

I have to admit I tuned in late, so the police were already banging on Kirstie’s door (Big Kirstie Alley, not Skinny Kirstie Alley. So I knew right away it was going to be good).

Kirstie was going, “Why are you here? I haven’t done anything!”

And I for one totally believed her, because, whatever, dude: It was Big Kirstie Alley! Just look at her! She looks so nice and squeaky clean!

But then the cops used bolt cutters to break a lock on a door in her basement.

And WTF!

Inside, sitting in the dark, was greasy-haired Chloe, aka Dr. Susan Lewis’s crackhead sister from ER!

I was so surprised! I was like, Big Kirstie Alley…how could you?

Then I found out the tag line for ‘Family Sins’ is The world saw them as the perfect family. The law found some perfect criminals.

Well, I guess so!

It turns out Kirstie Alley, who presented herself to the outside world as a responsible suburban mom and business woman (she was a landlady), was keeping Crackhead Chloe as a human slave!

Kirstie would make Crackhead Chloe fold all the towels, and then would only feed her every three days or so!

And that’s not all:

Kirstie also took away Crackhead Chloe’s daughter (this is all revealed right from the beginning in a flashback) and Crackhead Chloe’s daughter was the one who finally escaped (with her own kid) and called the cops (but not the cops in town, because they were all Kirstie’s friends)!

There were also some crazy rapey things going on with Kirstie’s sons and husband (so it was totally unclear to me who the father of Crackhead Chloe’s daughter was. But the words “Secret Santa” in Big Kirstie’s house must have taken on a whole new meaning)!

Also, Kirstie adopted dozens of foster children and turned them into an army of little shoplifters! She also recruited them to break into the homes she rented out and steal stuff from her own tenants that she would then sell at yard sales at her own house!

And then she’d burn her own rental properties down for the insurance money!

Kirstie was like a modern day Fagin from Oliver Twist…only in Juicy Couture sweat pants! Size 16!

Here’s a clip to show you how completely awesome Kirstie Alley is in this film:

Obviously this is the best Bad Movie ever made….

…especially since it’s based on a true story.

Oh, shut up. You knew that was coming. Yes. It’s a true story. On crystal meth. And I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

In fact, you can’t go onto a message board (IMDB, Lifetime, what have you) without finding posts there written by actual members of the actual family portrayed in this movie, saying it was way worse in real life than the movie shows!

I was kind of torn over which was my favorite part. It might have been when Crackhead Chloe said, “Say hi to Kenny!” (her rapist, against whom her daughter was about to testify in court).

Seriously. THE BEST.

But probably the best (by which of course I mean the worst) part of the whole movie is when Kirstie Alley is awaiting trial in jail, and she just watches as her own daughter gets the snot beat out of her by a bunch of other lady prisoners.

The daughter is screaming (cue Southern accent): “Mama! Mama, help! Help, Mama, help!”

And Kirstie doesn’t do anything. She just smiles off into the distance, and gnaws on a chicken leg.

Okay, it’s possible I’m only imagining the part about the chicken. But that would have been so awesome.

But the smile is still great, even without the chicken bone.

See Family Sins as soon as you can. It will cure whatever ails you.

More later.

Much love,

Meg

PS All monkey and chicken products pictured on this post can be purchased at my favorite site to visit whenever I’m feeling blue, Archie McPhee.

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One Minute Movie Reviews

What did you do during this past holiday weekend? Go to the movies?

Me, too!

I haven’t seen Avatar yet because there aren’t any 3-D screens in my area, and all my friends who’ve seen it say you have to see Avatar in 3-D (on an Imax screen).

But I DID see the following:

One Minute Movie Reviews

Up In The Air

I loved this movie so much! I wouldn’t exactly call it a romantic comedy…and okay, there was a twist I totally didn’t see coming.

But Up In The Air definitely didn’t leave me feeling down in the dumps.

Up In The Air =

It’s Complicated

John Krasinski is so funny in this, and of course Meryl Streep’s house is to die for.

But I am apparently the only woman in America who was a little bit bothered by the scene where Meryl’s character casually changes the bottle on her kitchen water cooler as she’s chatting away with one of her romantic interests.

Hello! Those water bottles are really, really heavy (I know, I have a water cooler in my house, and I also used to have to change the one in the office where I used to work all the time).

I’m not saying Meryl should have been Liz Lemon-esque incompetent at changing the bottle on her water cooler. We women can do anything men can do (usually better).

But the guy she’s with didn’t even offer to help her!

I’ve been told by everyone else who has seen this film that I Need To Let The Water Bottle Go.

BUT I CANNOT. I still can’t believe he didn’t even offer.

It’s Complicated =
(really, this is two and a half until someone explains what was up with the water bottle)

(500) Days of Summer:

I know everyone already saw this movie last summer. But I was afraid to see it because (AND THIS IS NOT A SPOILER) I heard the couple in it break up.

But guess what? That wasn’t a spoiler because they’re ALREADY broken up from the minute the movie starts!

So don’t worry! I’m sorry I was prejudiced against this movie. I loved it! There was even a DANCE NUMBER!

So delicious.

500 Days of Summer =

Julie and Julia

This movie was SO GOOD. I actually read the book the movie is based on and loved it, too.

Amy Adams plays Julie Powell, who wants to make something of her life by cooking every recipe in Julia Childs’ Mastering the Art of French Cooking cookbook, then blogging about it.

Meanwhile, Meryl Streep plays Julia Child, the only woman (and American) enrolled in the all-male Cordon Bleu cooking school in post-war France, who then goes on to write Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

The only problem is, I heard Julie Powell has written a true-life pseudo sequel, in which she and her husband cheat on each other.

Amy Adams had this to say about it: Not MY Julie Powell!

Not mine either.

Julie and Julia =

Bruno

This is the dirtiest movie ever! Do NOT watch it with your mom! Or anyone who might be offended by large close-ups of singing, dancing male genitalia!

I was shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you. And I loved every minute of it.

Bruno =

The Hurt Locker

This movie got SUPER SCARY in the first five minutes. I was so scared, I had to turn it off.

But then my friend Beth said, “No, it will be all right, just watch,” so I did. And I’m glad I did because it was SO GOOD.

Plus, it has a woman director.

Some actual bomb squad veterans are saying it isn’t an “accurate” depiction of bomb defusing in Iraq, which I’m sure it’s not!

But obviously the screenwriter, who rode along with a bomb unit in Iraq for a time, had to make the story more dramatic for cinematic purposes, since it’s fiction, not a documentary.

To be completely honest, Romancing the Stone is not an accurate depiction of what it’s like to be a romance writer. But it’s still an OK movie.

Although nowhere near as good as The Hurt Locker, of course.

The Hurt Locker =

Well, I have to go now, because I just got District 9 and JCVD in the mail (what? You’ve never heard of JCVD? You will soon).

One Minute Movie Reviews on them coming soon!

More later.

Much love,

Meg