Your Valentine’s Day Mission

February 13th, 2010

Happy Valentine’s Day!

So that’s one Valentine you’ve just gotten.

And not to give anything anyway, but if you subscribe to my e-newsletter, I know of at least one more you’re going to be getting (it’s not too late to sign up)!

I’m always torn about whether to participate in February 14th festivities. Valentine’s Day is a day people either love or hate. (It’s kind of stylish right now to hate on Valentine’s Day haters.)

But let’s remember that all this emphasis on finding that “special someone” makes it hard if you happen to be single on Valentine’s Day not to fall into the “ACK! I’m Single On Valentine’s Day! There must be something wrong!” depression spiral (when there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single).

Or if you happen to be in a relationship, all this advertising about how you have ONE SHOPPING DAY LEFT before Valentine’s Day makes it hard not to be all “I MUST BUY A TEN POUND BOX OF GODIVA FOR HIM/HER, OR HE/SHE WILL THINK I AM A BAD PERSON!”

(Or, if your girlfriend/boyfriend forgets and doesn’t get YOU a ten pound box of Godiva, it’s hard to remember that cute romantic comedies aren’t real life, and think, “He/she must not really love me!”).

It just seems like Valentine’s Day is a lot of pressure, no matter what.

So if you’re like me and Valentine’s Day freaks you out a little, you’ve come to the right place.

Because I’ve come up with a few Valentine’s Day Missions you can complete that will help you avoid letting February 14th turn into Saw VII in your brain:

St. Valentine was Italian, right? So make a nice Italian dinner and invite over your family and friends!

I know. I can’t cook either.

But even I can cook pasta (they make gluten-free kinds).

My favorite pasta dish also happens to be the easiest one to make (and is actually somewhat healthy). And you don’t even have to go to the store because you already have all the ingredients right in your pantry.

Valentine’s Day Mission #1 Completed!

Not into cooking on Valentine’s Day? Fine:

Have an “Ex-orcism/Crush-im” party:

Invite all your pals over (no significant others allowed!) and have them each bring a picture of their ex (or crush). Attach the picture of the ex (or crush) to a dartboard. Throw darts at the picture.

Everyone who hits her ex (or crush) in the eyes wins a prize (traditionally when these kinds of parties are held in bars, the prize is a beer. But if you’re under 21, I’d suggest the prize be a Meg Cabot book. Oh, all right, make it some delicious chocolate).

Valentine’s Day Mission #2 Completed!

Too violent? OK:

Get a group of people together. Go see the movie Valentine’s Day.

Angle to sit behind the person you have a crush on while he/she is on a date someone else. Throw popcorn his/her date’s hair during the entire movie.

Oh, wait, that’s immature.

Okay:

Angle to sit by the person you have a crush on. Accidentally brush his/her hand when reaching for popcorn.

Valentine’s Day Mission #3 Completed!

Are you too shy (or lazy) even to do any of these things?

Then just sit around and gently tease your crush (or ex) on IM (I’m not saying to bully them! Cyberbullying is wrong).

But you can have hours of fun simply getting that special someone’s goat. Here’s a good example: Comedian Aziz Ansari gives fake 24 spoilers to his cousin and freaks him out.

Hilarious. Everyone knows gentle teasing means I love you.

Valentine’s Day Mission #4 Completed!

Of course, if you REALLY want to be nice, you could bake and decorate some delicious Valentine’s Day cupcakes, and give them out to all your friends or family.

Because maybe to you the true meaning of Valentine’s Day isn’t about romantic love at all, but loving everyone, and showing that love by just being nice

Valentine’s Day Mission #5 Completed!