BarracudaJuly 8th, 2009
So both Lauren Conrad and Miley Cyrus have written* books that are in the top ten on the New York Times Children’s bestseller list this week (Lauren’s is number one)!
When else has this ever happened, that two young actresses (or whatever those ladies are) were both on the children’s bestseller list at the same time?
(Besides Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, of course, who don’t count because they’re related.)
*And okay, I put “written” in quotes because there are rumors going around that both Lauren and Miley had help from professional writers in creating their novels. But this is pretty obvious, and they’ve both admitted as much. Here’s a clip of Lauren talking about it during Chelsea Handler’s very funny interview of her.
Anyway, I’m writing this with burnt hands. I did follow my own advice (on Twitter) and avoided playing with fireworks this weekend.
But then I went snorkeling and all my sunscreen washed off and I’m burnt in the weirdest places, like my knuckles and the backs of my knees (seriously, people at CVS were totally making fun of me while I was there buying Lanocaine earlier).
And while I was snorkeling, completely minding my own business, a three foot barracuda decided to swim up to me, and be all “Oh, HAI!”
Only I wasn’t scared at all because I thought it was a tarpon, so I was just all, “Oh, hello. Have you seen Nemo?”
After the sunburn (and barracuda incident), I was completely incapacitated and had to lie in bed all day watching old episodes of “Intervention” and “Dance Your Ass Off,” which I think is “The New Biggest Loser” but I don’t know for sure because so far I’m the only person I know who watches it. I mean, I can’t dance at all, and the contestants on that show have major health problems, and yet some of them can do cartwheels and the splits.
It’s very inspiring. I’m totally going to stop eating so many M&Ms and even swim some laps as soon as the burning stops.
And yes, I did see “10 Things I Hate About You,” and I liked it. But “NYC Prep,” not so much. I’m trying to get into it, but there seems to be one boy so far on the whole show, and all those girls are into him, but he seems like the kind of guy who would find arm hair nasty, so I don’t know if this show is worth my precious TV time.
Which reminds me I meant to comment on this comment recently left on the Read Our Lips vlog Michele and I did on shaving vs. waxing:
I started shaving in 4th grade (legs AND arms, weird as it sounds). I’ve had guys tell me they wished all girls shaved their arms, too, because ANY body hair on a girl is nasty.
I realize this is just a comment left on YouTube. And if your arm hair bothers YOU, by God, go ahead and shave it.
But something about this statement really bothers me. What is it, exactly…?
Oh, yeah, maybe it’s the fact that any guy who suggests that body hair on a girl is “nasty” is a useless tool. If a guy I was dating told me he thought body hair on a girl was nasty, I’d be all, “Really? Well, see this body here? You’re never gonna see it again. Good bye.”
I mean, seriously. If we stop breeding with these type of guys, they’ll go away. Spencer Pratt? Brody Jenner? They’ll disappear. We can do it, ladies, if we stick together and just stop rewarding them for their stupid behavior.
I guess I have to mention Michael Jackson’s funeral. I know it would have been tasteless for there to have been an open coffin two weeks after his death, but I’m still bummed about not getting to see him in the drum major uniform with the white glove that we were promised by the NY Post.
And of course, Brooke! Oh, Brooke. You are so awesome.
But the best part was when Janet hugged her niece Paris at the end, after Paris made her first and only “public statement” about her dad. I was totally:
“It’s Janet…Aunt Janet if you’re nasty!”
You really did get the feeling that if anyone tries to mess with those kids, they’ll have to go through Janet first. I hope that’s true. Janet is fierce. I think Janet is a barracuda. In a good way.
Okay, so I just have to say I was all excited because the CW is doing the Vampire Diaries as a TV series, and I got way into those books in the 90s (I won’t even mention my decades-long girl crush on Lois Duncan).
And so I went to LJ Smith’s website to see what she’s been up to lately, and then I saw her author photo:
That’s it. LJ Smith is brilliant, and that’s all there is to say.