Level 5 Alert

April 30th, 2009

It’s been the craziest week already, hasn’t it? The World Health Organization has raised their alert level to 5, the second-highest level, because of the swine flu….

…and yet, more people die every year of ordinary flu than have ever died of this one, and they’ve never raised their alert level before. Go figure.

Here’s what I have to say about this:

If you don’t want to get swine flu, wash your hands a lot.

And for God’s sake, don’t do this:

But even crazier things are happening than the swine flu (well, except you probably won’t die from them):

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick announced that they are having twins!

Well, I thought when I first heard that. There goes the plot to Sex and the City 2. Carrie’s obviously having a baby. How boring! Charlotte AND Miranda both already did that!

But no! SJP is having the babies through a surrogate! So no need to worry about her pregnancy being written into the plot of SATC2!

I hate it when there are rumors that a celebrity marriage is in trouble, and the next thing you know, they’re having twins. Having a baby (even by a surrogate) is no way to save a marriage.

Bad Idea #1: Cutting your own bangs.

Bad Idea #2: My marriage is in trouble. I know, I’ll have a baby to save it!

Babies are stressful! Trust me, I know. I mean, I don’t have one myself, but most of my friends and family members do. They’re always saying things through gritted teeth like, “If I have to hear that Elmo song one more time….” Or “I haven’t had a good nights sleep in seven years….”

(But then they also say things like, “Meg, you will never know what true love is until you gaze into the eyes of you newborn….” However, I do know what true love is, because I have gazed into the eyes of my cat right before I’ve given her a Pounce. Now THAT is love.)

I really hope Sarah Jessica and Matthew aren’t doing this to save their marriage (which “friends say” is doing fine). Because that’s not what babies are for! Especially twins!

And if there is anyone who could tell them that, it would be the Gosselins! Jon and Kate Gosselin have EIGHT kids, one set of twins and then a set of sextuplets.

And yes I do watch the show “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” (unless He Who Shall Not Be Named In this Blog is around. Then he goes, “How can you watch this crap?” and I have to go, “But the kids are really cute!” especially when they were littler and they used to tell on each other to the camera men).

But I digress.

This week, Jon, the father, was caught at 2AM in another woman’s car, pulling out of a bar! Seriously bad judgment, Jon!

This isn’t the first time this has happened either. After the first time, ratings for the show shot SKY HIGH!

Kate does kind of rag on Jon in an amusing way (and Jon has confessed on camera that he doesn’t like “feeling emotions”) so you knew something was going to happen. I’m pretty sure Jon had no idea what he was doing, though. He’s kind of clueless and goes with the flow.

It’s just sad for the kids. Some of them are old enough to Google. Maybe they wish they lived with the Duggars instead.

OK, probably not.

And what is going on with the Housewives? I mean, seriously, The Countess is trying to blame the way she’s portrayed on the editing, but there is no way anyone could edit Kelly to come off the way she does. She’s just outright lying in some scenes! It’s like she forgets there’s a camera running! How can she just deny she said things to Betheny that she absolutely said when they have it on film?

I will never understand (or stop loving) this show.

By the way, here is Luann’s website, Class with the Countess.

Her site fills me with happy feelings. I will probably buy her book and read it during the part on the airplanes when they won’t let your turn on any electronics….

…like I’ve done with Tori Spelling’s Mommywood! It’s SO DISHY! Why is Luke Perry so mad at Tori? No one knows.

Also, Chelsea Handler? I love her, and her books!

But she’s so mean to Tori! It hurts Tori’s feelings. I’m so sad for Tori!

I mean, sure, Tori is used to people dissing her in magazines, but she thought she and Chelsea were friends. Not friend-friends, exactly, but Hollywood friends.

Then Chelsea said that mean thing about Tori on her show! We all know exactly how that is. People act like they like us to our face, then turn around and say really mean things about us behind our backs ALL the time. Right? It’s a million times worse if they do it on TV (or the Internet). I mean, I really FEEL for Tori.

But then He Who Shall Not Be Named In This Blog reminded me, “You don’t even know her.”

But the thing is, I kind of do! Come on! It’s Donna Martin! Who doesn’t love her?

…and Mimi La Rue?

In other book related news, Alexander McCall Smith (No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency author) was in Bloomington, IN a few weeks ago and I MISSED it!

Apparently he was incredibly entertaining and sweet and charming and all my friends got their books signed and I’m SO MAD I WASN’T THERE!!!!

But I was soothed by watching this which was almost as good (or so I’m deluding myself).

Did you know that kids in Mexico and some parts of Texas are already having school cancelled because of the flu? (NO FAIR!) Guess they’re going to have lots of extra time for reading!

So if you’re looking for something to read while snuggled up at home avoiding other people’s germs, Josie Bloss, the author of the cute Band Geek Love, has a new book out…a sequel called Band Geeked Out. I haven’t read it, but with that gorgeous cover, it’s got to be good, right?

There’s lots of other great stuff out there to read right now as well (just scroll back through this blog for other author suggestions), and more coming soon!

I’ll try to keep you updated as best as I can while working very very hard (did you read that, editors?) on all the work I have due, such as Runaway (Being Nikki‘s sequel)….

If I don’t finish that sequel soon (and quit reading about celebrities), I’m a dead woman, flu pandemic or no flu pandemic!

See you soon!

More later.

Much love,

Meg