Pants On Fire is in US stores now! And it’s already a Summer 2007 Book Sense Children’s Picks List!
This is a rockin’ way to start the week. Thanks, Book Sense!
In other news, fellow YA author Maureen Johnson’s book The Bermudez Triangle has been banned!
Maureen is so lucky. I’m jealous. Why does everyone else’s books get banned except for mine?
And okay, several loyal and intrepid readers pointed out that I have been banned. But you guys, that was from an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. That doesn’t count. Laura Freaking Wilder’s books have gotten banned from elementary schools.
Besides, my books say For Readers 12 And Up right on them. What are they doing in an elementary school library in the first place?
Come on. Let’s raise the bar a little! Call me a dreamer, but I am shooting for being banned from a high school, people.
Oh, yes. Like Degrassi, I went there.
I have high hopes that Pants on Fire is going to get me banned. Admittedly, this Book Sense thing hasn’t helped. But come on, this is my raciest cover yet. There is butt touching on it. And if you turn the book over, that photo of the guy touching the girl’s butt on the back is HUGE.
That’s why I’ve come up with a plan. A plan to get Pants on Fire banned. And YOU can help.
HOW YOU CAN HELP:
If you were to buy this book, and leave it lying around so the butt-touching photo on the back cover is facing up, AN ANGRY MOM like the one who got Maureen’s book banned might pick up Pants on Fire and think it’s all about butt-touching.
Then she might write a letter about it to the school (without even reading it and learning of its hilarious yet highly moral content or knowing that its a Summer 2007 Book Sense Pick), asking the school to ban it.
Then my dream of being banned in a high school will come true.
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION OF HOW YOU SHOULD CASUALLY LEAVE PANTS ON FIRE LYING AROUND SO ANGRY MOM CAN FIND IT (Henrietta is playing the part of the Angry Mom):
Henrietta (as Angry Mom): “What is this? A book about Butt Touching? NOT IN MY HOUSE! Hello, My Child’s School? BAN THIS BOOK!”
SPECIAL NOTE: I do not know how you are going to find an Angry Mom, let alone leave this book lying Butt Touching Photo Back Cover Facing Up within her line of sight. All the moms I know are super nice. But maybe you know more moms than I do.
Come on, you guys. You can do this for me! You have to! Funny writers get zilch. We don’t get stalked, we don’t get banned, we don’t get Newberry Awards, we don’t get ANYTHING.
BUT YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR POWER TO MAKE AN AUTHOR OF FUNNY BOOK’S DREAM COME TRUE.
Just buy Pants on Fire. Leave it lying around–BUTT TOUCHING SIDE UP (this is important)—wherever an angry mom might see it.
And the rest will happen naturally. It’s really that easy.
I know you can do it. I have faith in you. Come on. I told you about the faucet thing in Ready or Not. Give a girl a little something in return!
Remember: ONLY YOU CAN BRING MY BOOK TO THE ATTENTION OF THE ANGRY MOMS!!!!!
Oh, and if you haven’t done so already, read this totally moving and completely accurate essay Sarah Dessen wrote on the novel writing process. It is all so, so true. Only she put it way better than I ever could have. Sarah—I hope from the bottom of my heart that you get banned (if you haven’t been banned already, I mean.)
PS Contrary to what you might have been led to believe from reading the above, censorship is a totally serious issue. I was completely blown away when I was in Poland by the stories I heard about people who were willing to risk jail time in order to read books the government had banned (this was back before they got all democratized in 1989)! I know you think “That could never happen here,” but seriously—there are some Angry Moms (and politicians) who wouldn’t mind if it did. Don’t let them! Learn about why censorship is wrong, and how you can report acts of censorship in your community here!
But please don’t let this dissuade you from your mission of getting me banned. Remember: It’s as easy as this.
PPS No animals were harmed in the creation of this blog entry.