MAIL BAG

May 5th, 2007

Well, Paris Hilton is going to jail, Gilmore Girls has been cancelled, and David Hasselhoff’s daughter has gotten the ultimate revenge any child of an alcoholic can get on her parent–although she claims she didn’t leak the tape (to which all I have to say is: Drunk Parents Everywhere–You Have Been Duly Warned).

You know what all this means: Time to take a look in the mail bag!

Let’s see what you have to say about all this, and everything else that’s going on in the world.

Special note: All mail guaranteed real.

Dear Meg,
Just to let you know that my school in Ireland has banned most of your books from its library. It’s a Catholic school so none of the books with any references to sex are allowed. So congrats, you’re banned!
M.

Thank you. I really don’t know what to say. Being half-Irish, and also having been raised Catholic (and even having received four out of the seven sacraments), I am deeply touched.

But banning in foreign countries doesn’t count. I have to be banned in my own country, in a public high school.

I know. I’ve raised the bar awfully high. But I thank you for your email just the same.

Meg
I know my request is so childish…
but u must know that i’m very fanatic to princess Mia..
And May 1st yestrday was princess Mia’s birthday..
I just wanna say happy birthday to her..
–i know you’ll laugh at me, but it’s ok!–
thanks,
M.
N.b : Uhh,,, in Indonesia, Princess Diaries is so late,,,

I can’t believe I forgot Princess Mia’s birthday! Thanks for reminding me. I don’t think it was a very happy birthday for Mia, considering how we left her in Book 8. But she’ll be glad to know someone remembered. I’m sorry about the books taking so long to come out in Indonesia, but that’s because they have to be translated. Don’t worry, they’ll be coming soon.

Just so you know, I do play favorites with my books’ covers (not the content). Here is a photo, as a matter of fact, of some of my foreign covers on display in my house here in Key West:

And here are Indonesia’s:

Seriously, can you tell why Indonesia’s covers are my favorites? I wish I had all of them to show you, but some of them are in New York. They rock so hard. There are some where Fat Louie is actually eating a sock. Why is he eating a feather on that one cover? I don’t know. But Indonesia? I love you.

meg: I know you want to get banned and all, but the contents of your books aren’t all that bad. I want to read your books and if my mom sees the pants on fire cover I will be banned from your books and I love your books. Why do you want to get banned anyway?

Well, I must admit, I didn’t think of this. Maybe you could just take the cover off?

But I want to get banned because all the cool authors get banned. Here are just a few of the authors who have been banned:

Banned Authors:
Judy Blume
Harper Lee
Maya Angelou
Mark Twain
JK Rowling
John Steinbeck
JD Salinger
Chris Crutcher
Madeline L’Engle
Lois Duncan
SE Hinton
Margaret Atwood
Stephen King
Alice Walker
Caroline Cooney
Susan Juby
Maureen Johnson

Not Banned Authors:
Meg Cabot
Those guys who wrote the Left Behind series

Surely you can see my point. Which list would YOU rather be on?

I have been added to the Very Cool Ranks of As If…
Authors Supporting Intellectual Freedom. Because I want to support banned authors, and also because I begged. And they very kindly let me join their uber cool group. So check us out!

Ms. Cabot,
I just want to say thank you. I loved reading your article about how you got married. I have been married for 15 years and did the whole crazy Bridezilla thing. I am going to keep your article for my children (ages 13, 11 and 5). I can only hope they too will realize that a marriage is about two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together and not who can have the biggest wedding circus. Thanks again for such a great keepsake article.

You’re welcome! I was really surprised when I started getting all these emails the other day about this article I wrote years ago for Marie Claire magazine. I guess they gave permission to MSN Lifestyle to rerun it. So here it is, for any interested parties. I would like to mention that the article was very heavily edited for length–the soccer team did not sing to us under our hotel room, it was our drunk best man and his friends. And my husband’s parents never gave me hives, one of his siblings did.

In answer to everyone’s question, “What happened when you got home?” my family hosted a backyard reception to which his family came, and everyone behaved themselves. Some of my in-laws are not speaking to me at the moment, but that is due to the Hideous Booger Incident, and has nothing to do with our elopement.

I am still entirely pro-elopement, especially after all the research I did for Queen of Babble in the Big City and its sequel, Queen of Babble Gets Hitched, in which my heroine, Lizzie, struggles to become a certified professional wedding gown restorer. Personally, I don’t know how all you traditional wedding people did it.

Dear Meg,
I descent from Poland. I love Your books. In especial The Mediator. True it surely don’t live Mediator? Even if don’t live it I and yes in it belief. I very want such gift as Susannah Simon. Harm for she don’t live. Sometimes I want kill myself order happen ghost and meet by the mediator.
I have hope that You read over my letter.
Thanks awfully if sacrifice me some times.
By respects
E.
P.S. I’m sorry. Letter writing by means of the dictionary.

Dear E,

This is the sweetest letter. I am sorry to say that I have no empirical data to support the existence of either mediators or ghosts. I do believe both of them MIGHT exist. However, I can state emphatically that neither Jesse nor Suze actually exist. I made them both up. So I definitely don’t think you should kill yourself. Although I’m pretty sure you were kidding about that.

Nice use of the dictionary, by the way! My Polish is nowhere near as good as your English.

Well, that’s all the mail we have time for right now. I know a lot of you wonder what authors do in their spare time, when we’re not sitting around thinking of ways to get banned, or feverishly working on our current opus. Personally, I watch movies on digital cable. This is my favorite part of one movie I can’t seem to stop watching (perhaps because it’s about my favorite subject: nerds), the Dance Dance Revolution scene from Grandma’s Boy. Enjoy.

More later.

Much love,

Meg