Goodbye Forever, My Love

January 15th, 2007

What I am about to tell you is something so shocking, so mind-blowing, that you, like me, probably aren’t going to believe it at first.

In fact I hope you are sitting down. What follows is a tale of betrayal so sinister and heart-breaking that if there are young children in the room, you might want to send them out to play. Let them enjoy their youth. At least while they still can.

Are they gone?

Okay, good.

Get ready. Here it is:

Some of you may already have known this, but apparently I am the last (as usual) to find out.

Guess what one of the causes for chronic daily migraines can be for some people (because let’s face it, everyone is different, and what may be a migraine trigger for me may not be for you. Like, blue cheese dressing—yes, that yummy white stuff you dip your chicken wings in–is a migraine trigger for me, but I bet you can eat it just fine, right)?

Yeah. Well, another one for me would appear to be that sweet nectar of the gods, aspartame.

So guess who gave up TaB last week?

Yeah. That’d be me.

It’s true. I’m off the soft stuff.

I KNOW!!!!!!!! Can you even imagine me without TaB???? I can’t!!! I still have a whole refrigerator full of it!!!! I’m all, “What am I supposed to do with this stuff????”

It was really tough. But once my neurologist told me that the diet soda I so dearly love might be contributing to the stabbing pain in my left eye I was experiencing nightly, I couldn’t even bring myself LOOK at it anymore.

I felt so betrayed! TaB! TaB!!! How COULD you???? I thought I KNEW you! I thought we had a deal! BFFs, and all that!

But it turned out to be a totally abusive relationship. It was bound to end the way it did, in pain and tragedy. I mean, I was an ADDICT!!!! I couldn’t go for more than a couple of HOURS without my fix. What kind of LIFE was that? It had to stop.

And stop it did.

Just to let you know, the worst thing about quitting TaB (and all diet soda, for that matter)? For the first few days, I had headaches ALL THE TIME.

They just weren’t migraines. They were aspartame withdrawal headaches–not caffeine withdrawal headaches, because I’m still drinking unsweetened tea (I know, caffeine is a migraine trigger, too, but I can’t withdraw from EVERYTHING at once. I’ll do caffeine next week. Or maybe next month. And seriously, I’m down to just one cup a day, and by the way, I am also currently consuming NO CHOCOLATE WHATSOEVER).

It was coming down off the ASPARTAME that was killing me.

I should point out that not everyone is affected by aspartame this way. So if you are not one of these people, I wouldn’t worry about it…

…although if you put the word aspartame in Google like I did last week, be prepared for a shock: There are LOT of people who think it is VERY bad stuff that we should ALL stay away from.

So what do I drink now, you ask?

WATER! Yes! Water is my new best friend! I love it! I drink it all day long! Yum! So tasty.

Not.

But you know what the good thing about having water as my new BFF is? You don’t have to run all over town looking for it, like I had to with TaB. No. The good thing about water is: It comes right out of the faucet. IN YOUR HOUSE.

Goodbye, TaB. I loved you, but you were no good for me. I know it’s not really your fault, though. You can’t help how your manufacturers made you.

And I will miss your cheerful bright pink can. It matched so many of the things I wear.

I have to go now, Big Boned is kicking my butt since I am writing it completely aspartame free. Which, let me tell you, slows down the writing process a bit. Water is a fun new friend but she is not very, um, stimulating.

Oh, well.

More later.

Much love,

Meg