WE’RE LISTENINGMarch 31st, 2006
Check it out:
Got something you need to get off your chest? Got a problem but NO IDEA what do about it? Or did you just happen to read this month's Meg Cabot Book Club Pick of the Month, BAD KITTY by Michele Jaffe, and are dying to talk about it with other readers…maybe even with the author herself?
NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!!!! Today only, in an exclusive engagement, all the way from Las Vegas, Nevada, Dr. Michele Jaffe will be chatting LIVE with readers right here on the Meg Cabot Book Club, at 7PM Eastern Standard Time.
You do NOT want to miss your chance to ask the good doctor for some advice (surely you have been to her celebrated advice blog, here?) or find out what's cooking with Jas, the ultra-cool heroine of the hottest book around (with a sparkly cat on the cover).
So join us (yes, I, Meg Cabot, will be chatting as well, and will happily respond to any questions you might have for me pertaining to PARTY PRINCESS, life in general, or my own Bad Kitties) tonight! You won't be sorry.
And to whet your appetite for what kind of red hot topics might be discussed at this evening's chat, here are a sampling of pleas for advice Michele has received lately from readers, followed by her replies. Could one of these questions be about something that could apply to YOU? Read on to find out, and then join us tonight, to ask about your OWN crush/traitorous best friend/career quandary/writing dilemma.
I recently found out that one of my guy friends likes me. And, while I think he's great, and I sort of like him, I don't like him half as much as I like one of HIS friends.
This would be easy, if I hadn't lost my intelligence, and slow danced with the guy who likes me at our last school dance. Plus, the music was too high, so when he asked if I liked him, I think he misheard and got something out of it I didn't mean. I don't want to hurt him, but I understand I need to nip it in the bud, before he KEEPS that wrong idea, the guy I DO like thinks I'm taken, AND it gets around school (so Guy#1 doesn't get served a steaming plate of humiliation on the side of that heartbreak).
Some advice on letting the guy down would be much appreciated.
Dr. Jaffe replies:
It may be too late to cancel your guy friend's entire order of Heartache, Serving for One, but you can certainly make sure he gets a lunch sized portion instead of the Deluxe Dinner Plate. The best thing you can do for him is to be honest. Think about what you would want to hear if the situation were reversed. I'd suggest something along the lines of: “I think you're a great guy and a great friend, and I really want us to stay just friends.”
He may not be happy, but by handling the situation with honesty and thoughtfulness, you'll make the message more digestible and enable him to move on to some other dish more quickly. Meantime, you can turn up the heat under your own romance.
dear dr. jaffe,
i have a total and utter problem…i am seventeen and i CANNOT talk to boys. all i ever do is stutter, mumble…or say something so random and stupid that they look at me like i'm from a different planet… and i am so not a martian (maybe a secret goddess from venus…!) there are a few guyz that i can talk to but that's because i'm around them alot.. i have no problem talking to people…it's just guys one on one!
Dr. Jaffe replies:
I get questions like this one a lot and I usually say the normal things about practice what you're going to say and remember to breathe and remember how awesome you are, etc etc. Until today.
Today I was watching a magic show on TV (at the gym! I do have a job you know!) and the way magic works is that your mind is tricked into seeing something that isn't there, or not seeing something that is there. Suddenly I realized, that is perfect for this problem.
So here it is, the (about to be) World Famous How Not To Seem Like A Strange Half Girl Half Mime Creature In Front of the Guy You Like Trick.
1. Go up to the guy you like
2. Pretend you aren't talking to him but to his TWIN BROTHER.
Sigh. Yes, I know, he doesn't have a twin brother. That is the POINT. You are tricking your mind into seeing something that isn't there. And since you don't have a crush on his twin brother, you can treat him just like a normal guy!
Come on, try it! I dare you!
(Don't forget to breathe and remind yourself how awesome you are.)
at a recent party this hot guy who is in a few of my classes and i were hanging out all night and having a great time . he kept giving me signals that he liked me. weve seen each other around school and in classes since then and said hi and stuff but nothing else has happened between us. im kind of confused. what should i do?
Dr. Jaffe replies:
Ah it's the old story of DJ Partyboy turning into Mr. “Hide.” The four most likely causes of a DJ Partyboy to Mr. Hide transformation are:
1. He had a great time hanging out with you As A Friend.
2. He had a great time hanging out with you and wants to be more than friends but is thinking the same thing you are: “That hot girl is acting like nothing happened.”
3. He was so out of it at the party he doesn't remember what he did.
4. He's dating someone
If you think it's number 3 or 4, then act like there was no party. You can try to be friends with him, but whatever happened at the party, stayed at the party.
If you think it's 1 or 2, you have to create Ideal Flirting Conditions. That way you can coax DJ Partyboy back out and get a vibe for whether there's actually frisson between you, or just friendship.
This means…you have to talk to him. ScArY! If that sounds TOOOO scary, try this:
Monday: say, “Hi”
Tuesday: “How're you doing?”
Wednesday: [Insert comment about something funny that happened in class]
Thursday: Nothing! Or tiny winsome smile. Be a Woman of Mystery.
Friday: “What are you doing this weekend?”
By Friday you should have a better feeling for frisson Vs. friends. If its frisson, WHOEEEEE! And if its friendship, whoeee! too because friends are the delicious caramel center of the Milk Dud of life.
(And since hot guys travel in packs, he probably has smoldering pals he can introduce you to.)
That's it for now. Hope to “see” all of you at tonight's chat. Come on over…don't be shy! Just click here!