PRINCESS IN PINK TOUR: Day 6April 3rd, 2004
Gap's Dirty Little Secret
Okay, so I don't know how many of you know this. But are you aware that Gap's women's jeans are VANITY SIZED? That means if you wear an 8 and you go in there to buy jeans, the 6s are what will fit you best…but really, they're 8s. You didn't lose a bunch of weight overnight, as some unsuspecting authors might have thought. Even if that author has been working out EVERY SINGLE DAY and not eating a lot of junk food except for a few In N Out burgers here and there. NO! They are really 8s!
And then if you ask if they have any jeans that are your REAL size, ie not “stretch,” they won't have them. Just trust me on this.
Now, I love Gap. I know some people accuse Gap of being responsible for the homogenization of America and making everyone dress the same, kind of like how Applebees and TGIF make everyone in America EAT the same thing, by driving local family-owned businesses from town, which is wrong. Although, you know, onion blossoms…yum.
But whatever, Gap is convenient and affordable and looks good, so long as you don't dress in Gap from head to toe and do something cool to make it look different from everyone else.
But still. VANITY SIZING! That is so wrong. Like we aren't going to find out? If I found out, anyone can. It's like Gap thinks I'm stupid or something. That's all I'm saying. I expected more from such a fine, fine establishment, who has been there for me through the hard times (size 14, 12, etc) and the good times (10, 8, 6—oh wait, NOT SIX).
Okay, so I'm in San Francisco. Don't even ASK why I went to Gap in San Francisco when there are so many other cool stores here and I could go to Gap anywhere. I went to the other cool stores, too. But Gap is sort of like the Mother Ship to me, and I must return there periodically to recharge my fashion jets.
I went to See's Candies (but I didn't buy anything for me there, I bought chocolate for my friend Mellie who just had twin girls over in Berkeley). LOVE See's. Why don't they have this in New York???
Anyway, yesterday I drove over the Golden Gate Bridge. Twice. I thought terrorists might blow it up while I was crossing, but they didn't. It was GORGEOUS. The sun was pouring down over these green hills behind it…really, it was like something out of a movie. But it was my life! People who live here are so lucky.
I had the best time at my Copperfield's signing! We had dinner at Graziano's, and then the book signing, and I met tons of great people, including Caitlin, Mollie, and Rory. It was really fun.
I forgot to mention Zakkai from the other night, who showed me that my iPod has games on it (hey, I didn't know—I didn't know about the vanity sizing, either) and also, I spelled Michelle and Niki's names wrong in my last entry.
But I am a terrible speller and this is why at my book signings you have to write your name on a post-it and stick it on your book before you give it to me, or I will spell your name wrong. Even if your name is an easy one like Emma or Lauren, I'll find a way to spell it wrong.
Also, many thanks to the people who wrote in to tell me who dies on the OC. I don't want to spoil it for the rest of you, but if these people are right, it's a character on my list of NOT BELOVED characters. So I don't really care. As long as it's not Sandy, Kirsten, Seth, or Summer, I'm cool.
Also someone apparently gets pregnant and if it's who people are saying it is, it should totally RULE!!!!
So somebody famous is staying in my hotel here, because there are secret service people on my floor. I have to go find out who it is, because what if it's Prince William or somebody hot and I miss him??? Probably it's somebody boring, but you never know. So, talk to you later, and WATCH OUT FOR VANITY SIZING!!!!